Casey's Life
by Rayna Inverse
Summary: Thing's are changing for Casey in a way she never anticipated.
1. Chapter 1

"It's here! It's here it's here it's here!"

Nora looked up from here book and listened as her eldest child-correction her 18-year-old daughter- ran through the house shrieking. She quickly glanced over to her husband, who had some quizzical look on his face. Before they could react, Casey burst into the room waiving a piece of paper.

"I got in! I did it!" she exclaimed as she proudly held up her acceptance letter. Simultaneously, both parents leapt out of their seats and cheered, throwing their arms around their university-bound daughter.

"Oh Casey, we are so proud of you!" Nora exclaimed happily as she tightened her arms around her daughter. The excitement was infectious, as she soon began jumping up and down.

"I just can't believe it! Even with applying late, they accepted me into the program," she cheerfully laughed as she reread the acceptance letter. She then passed it off to George, who read the letter before passing it to Nora.

"I can't believe my step-daughter is going to Columbia University! We haven't been this excited since Derek got drafted early to the New York Rangers!" George shook his head in prideful disbelief. Three years ago, he never would have imagined his lazy, rude, obnoxious son skipping college to pursue a career in professional hockey let alone his step-daughter getting accepted into one of the best colleges in the United States.

"I have to tell Derek! Oh my gosh, I can't believe it!" she squealed as she made her exit, but not before grabbing her cell and running up the stairs. Both parents looked at each other and exchanged a concerned look.

"Derek, I did it! I got into Columbia!" Casey exclaimed over the phone.

"Case, that's amazing!" Derek replied. Casey flopped back into her pillows and started kicking the air.

"I just can't believe after a summer of us being apart we can be reunited. Fate really is on our side." Casey smiled broadly. Right before graduation, Derek was approached by a scout for the Rangers with a great offer Derek couldn't refuse. Even though, Nora and George really wanted Derek to wait and go to college first, Derek was 18 and old enough to make his own choices. A few days after graduation, Derek moved stateside to New York. Unfortunately, the new couple was separated by a long-distance relationship and Derek's hectic practice schedule. They only communicated thru their cells and social media. Casey had applied to the finance program on a whim after learning of Derek's move. Prior to him leaving the couple had been dating for a year, making the time apart even harder for her to accept.

"So, I can move in with you next month then, right?" she knowingly stated. She couldn't wait to snuggle in bed again, seeing he needed it more than she did. They were used to sleeping in bed together late at night.

"Wait, what?" he sounded surprised.

"Well, yeah, isn't that the whole point of this?" she asked.

"Case," he groaned. "Can we discuss this later?"

Perplexed, she sat up. "No Derek, we can discuss this now. Why are you being weird about this?"

"Casey, it's just my place is really small, and I'm never here, and…" he trailed off.

"Well, yeah, I know that, but I'll be at campus a lot so it's not like I'll be home a lot either. Staying with you would be cheaper than living on campus plus we would get to be together in our downtime. Derek, what does this have to do with anything?"

"It just came as a sudden shock, Case, that's all," he sighed over the phone.

"How do you figure?" she retaliated. "You knew I was applying. You knew there where was a good chance I was going to be accepted and moving down there. So how is this a shock?"

"I don't know, Casey. I don't know." Casey exhaled a frustrated breath into her bangs. Clearly, he was irritated, but with no reason.

"I've got to go," she promptly said. "Thanks for ruining this, Derek."

"Whatever, Case. Bye"

Her brows snapped together, as she threw her phone at watched in satisfaction as it skipped across the floor.

'How dare he do this! Why wouldn't he want us to live together? A year ago, they were excited about sharing an apartment off campus when they both thought of attending Queens together. He took all his stuff when he moved to his new place: his bed, his desk, and his chair. I even helped pay for new furniture and now he doesn't know if he wants me to live there?' Scoffing, she violently threw herself back on her pillows, trying not to let the angering thoughts take over the joy of her accomplishment. She would talk to him again about it once they both calmed down.

For days, it was nothing but fighting. Cruel, spiteful, under the skin fighting.

It was crystal clear that Derek did not want Casey to live with him, and she wasn't backing down. They had been living together for three years and dating for over one. There was no reason why they should be moving backwards.

The past week though, he began avoiding her calls. When he would answer, they were brief and excluded any emotion. However, time was closing in and she needed to finalize her plans to move. Casey stared at her phone and was anxious; she needed to talk to him without a fight. She needed to know what was going on with their future. Nerves rattled, she picked up her phone and dialed his number.

"Derek?" she quietly said when he answered. "We need to talk."

"I know," he sighed.

"I don't want to fight with you, but please, I need to know what's going on." Casey looked around her room at her belongings, hoping that they would be boxed up and ready to move by week's end. There was a long stretch of silence. "Derek?"

"Casey, I…" he let out a deep sigh. "Casey, I don't think this is going to work out."

"Derek," she meekly replied. "I don't understand this. We lived together before, why wouldn't we now?"

"That was different Case. We had different rooms. We shared a bathroom with three other siblings." He sighed. "I didn't mean living together wouldn't work out, Casey. I meant us. We are not working out."

Her eyes widened as she felt goosebumps prickle her skin. "Wait, what? Where did this come from?"

"These last few weeks we've been fighting so much about us living together. It made me realize that I'm not ready for this," he explained.

"Derek if it's this big of a deal we don't have to. I'll get my own place, Derek please think about what you're saying!" Casey hastily said. She was losing him and she was panicking.

"No, Casey. Please, when we were home in London it was different. But coming out here alone made me change. I need to continue to grow out here, Casey, and not be tied down."

"But Derek- "

"Casey, I met someone."

Quickly, Casey hung up the phone. She didn't just hear that. 'No, there is no way he just said that. Derek wouldn't meet someone else, not when I was going to school to be near him. No. Derek couldn't, he wouldn't.' Her stomach knotted as tears surfaced. Shaking her head, she swallowed back the sob etched in her throat and picked up her phone calling him back. He answered.

"Casey…"

Words betrayed her. She sat there holding the phone up to her ear, waiting for him to say something, anything, that would take back the words he just said. But nothing came but bittersweet confirmation.

"I'm sorry Casey."

"Derek, no…" she finally sobbed, her heart crumbling as he said goodbye to her. She keeled over and held onto the phone, clutching the silent device. She rolled over into her pillow as she bellowed sobs of anguish, having no idea where to go from here. She was ready to follow him across the world, and all he gave her was a phone call goodbye.

An obnoxious buzzing woke Casey out of a deep sleep. After her mind finally registered it was her phone ringing, she frantically grabbed it and looked at the caller ID, silently praying it was Derek. Instead, she was greeting by an unfamiliar number. Usually she let unknown numbers go right to voicemail, but she shrugged and accepted the call.

"Hello?" she answered.

"Good morning, is this Casey McDonald?"

"Yes, this is. May I ask who is calling?"

"Of course, my name is Lori Brooks and I am calling from the registration office at Harvard University. You had applied to be part of the upcoming fall semester but was waitlisted. I was calling to let you know, if you're still interested we have an open slot for you," the woman briefly synopsized.

"O-oh," she said, caught off-guard, "Of course."

"I see that you live in Canada, in the London area. Would you like us to set-up a virtual meeting with your designated counselor to help get everything situated? If so, we could schedule something as early as tomorrow morning?" Mrs. Brooks suggested.

"Yes, that would be great," she replied. AS the two of them exchanged information and conferencing ID's, Casey couldn't help but be baffled by this random opportunity. Truth be told, she had forgotten she had applied to Harvard thinking she would never get in.

She stared at her phone. Hours ago, the love of her life broke up with her, closing a chapter to her life and yet minutes ago a new one had the potential to begin.


	2. Chapter 2

Five Years Later

Casey smiled as she spun around in her office chair, giggling as she drank in the sites of her new, large, window office. After years of arduous work, long hours at school, and virtually no social life, Casey had graduated top of her class at Harvard. She was approached by a finance company called DPI shortly before graduation to be a senior financial analyst. She agreed without hesitation as DPI was one of the most renowned financial firms in the United States.

"Someone seems happy!" Casey looked up to see her co-worker and friend, Luke Cameron, standing in her doorway. She tossed him a lopsided smile.

"Extremely!" she exclaimed. "It's amazing having something to stare at besides brick walls, how can I not be? I mean, look, I have a window!" She stood out of her chair and walked over to the large glass panels. The streets below were full of clustered cars and people walking around. She loved the energy Boston provided and the constant motion of life all around her. It was certainly more exhilarating than London.

Luke sauntered over to her and looked out as well. "Soon this window will be your enemy when you can actually see the darkness and you're still working. At least back at university it provided a façade that it might still be light out," he chuckled.

"Oh, hush you," she said as she elbowed him. Luke was a few years older than her. They met while she was at Harvard. They were neighbors on the same floor. Luke had a whimsical sense of humor that could break a poker face, yet he was extremely smart and excelled in mathematics and could mentally solve complicated equations. It was he who took her under his wing and introduced her to the trendy areas of the city as well as his friends. He had moved from a small town in Virginia to Boston when he finished high school, so he understood the feeling of being 'lost' in a new city.

"So, we're going to celebrate tonight, right?" he asked, "because I've got Emily, Jason, Bre, and Ryan on standby to hit the club."

"Oh my gosh that sounds so good," she replied, "but I can go home and change first I hope? Because no way in hell am I showing up to the club in a business suit. That might work for you, but I need something that's celebratory."

"Nope, you need to go in your pantsuit, I don't need you attracting hot men tonight," he winked flirtatiously. She shoved back at him, a blush creeping on their face. Right before Luke was hired there was something between them at DPI there was something between him. They put everything on hold while Casey went thru the hiring process since he was in upper management. She shoved him again before laughing it off.

"Let me walk home and change and I'll meet everyone there. What time?" Casey had a small apartment above a restaurant on a quiet side street near Bay Street, probably a ten-minute walk from the office.

"I'll save us a table for 8, how does that sound?" Luke asked as he pulled out his cell.

"Amazing. I can't tell you the last time I went out on a Friday night!" she exclaimed, already thinking of what to wear. She usually was here late on Friday's and sometimes on Saturday's when interning. But now that she had completed her internship and had the cushy corner office job, she could resume a social life.

"I know, workaholic. Sheesh, you would think you're me or something," he laughed as he began to walk out of the office. "8 sharp, don't be late, and damn it, I expect you to not look gorgeous tonight." He gave me a fake stern look at her before laughing as he walked away.

She smiled as she looked back out the window, staring at the people rushing down the crowded sidewalks. Tourists, families, couples, and businessfolk herded together as they crossed the roads, spilling outside the thickly painted white lines. Walking during rush hour was almost as dangerous as driving, the combination of walkers, bikers, and drivers creating an ugly flow of traffic. Grabbing her coat and bag, she made her way off the tenth floor and out to the chilly October air. Merging in with the people of the streets, she gleefully walked amongst the crowds and onto her apartment.

About fifteen minutes later, Casey was turning onto Elm and Bay and began to ascend her stairway when she peered into the window of the small bistro she lived above. There was a couple, both probably close to her age, sitting next to the window. He was holding her hand and gently stroking his thumb against her knuckles, and she was looking at him in the way that Casey could only remember looking at one man with. Swallowing hard, she pushed aside the dull ache in her heart for him as she detached her gaze from the lovely couple.

After she made her way up the narrow stairwell, she unlocked and opened the door to reveal her small studio apartment. It wasn't much, but it was all she could afford when she first relocated. But now that she was making more and the firm generously compensated her tuition upon her completing the internship, maybe she would consider getting a nicer, larger place. She intended to stay here in Boston and had no desire to move back to Canada.

Derek. Five years later his rejection still stung her. She could never fully commit to another person after he broke her heart. She was trying to with Luke, but even with him she couldn't fully do it. She had told herself originally that Luke seniority at work is why they never moved forward, but, she couldn't do it, not while Derek's memory still loomed.

Casey sauntered over to her closet and pulled out a shoebox, carefully handling it as she laid it on the bed. She lifted off the top and stared at its contents; items from the past that had a completely different future attached to it. Pictures of a couple in love, keys to their parents' house, cards and love notes her left her, and pieces of jewelry she couldn't bear to wear, but couldn't discard of. Sadly, she skimmed through the contents, saddened by the memories of what could have been. She briefly closed her eyes; last, she knows he was in a relationship with a girl named Melissa. She was an artist, and she was beautiful with long curly brown hair and porcelain skin. They had taken pictures together at Niagara Falls, and that was as far as she got before she clicked out of her profile page. After that night four years ago, she never went and looked up Derek on Facebook again. She couldn't handle the pain of knowing that the someone else he left her for turned into something more.

Casey replaced the lid on the shoebox and slowly walked over to her closet. She knew she should get rid of the memories, but she couldn't let go of it. Moving to another state in the US and going down a different path couldn't stop her heart from loving him, even though he ended it. She sighed as she slid the box into the back corner of the closet. Perhaps someday soon she could part with the memories of him, and maybe any day the true love of her life would sweep her off her feet. But in five years she had yet to find him, and now that she was mid-twenties she almost wondered if she ever would.

Pushing off her saddening thought, she mustered up some glee into sorting through her closet for an outfit to wear. Perhaps tonight she would find someone who would make her love again. Casey pulled out a sequined fitted dress and slit it off the shoulders, and slid on a pair of nude pumps. She quickly retouched her make-up and her hair, grabbed her clutch, and hailed a cab out for the club. She wasn't going to let a temporary moment of sadness ruin her promotion celebration. Damn it, she was going to have fun!

Casey laughed as she took another sip of her martini, her third one of the night. Everyone at the table was cutting loose and kicking them back, and she wasn't going to be shy about it. It had been far too long since she had a night out with friends.

"Ohhh no!" Casey mock protested as Luke walked over with a tray of a dozen or so shots of tequila. She squealed as she took one and haphazardly clanked glasses with her friends before shooting the liquor back. Luke motioned for everyone to take another, which everyone obliged, and they all laughed and sputtered about how strong the drink was. Moments late the lights dimmed and the DJ approached the booth and began to play his set, resulting in the group going out to the dance floor.

Casey threw her head back and let the thumping music take over; it had been a long time since she danced at a club. She lifted her arms over her head and twisted her body to the beat, standing alongside Emily, Jason, Bre, and Ryan as they danced as feverishly as she. It was a few tracks into the set before she felts Luke's hand on her back, a drink in her hand for her and smile on his face.

"Having fun?" He shouted over the music, which resulted in a grin and nodding her head as she turned back to the music. Luke was about to walk away when she grabbed onto his shirt. "Dance with me!" she ordered, pulling him closer than she had meant to. He obliged and dance alongside her, expertly swaying to the music. She smiled at the memories of clubbing together; he knew of all the great spots in town with the best DJ's and they always had a blast. It was amazing being back out on the dance floor with him again.

Soon she finished and discarded her drink he brought over for her. Everyone in their group began to drunkenly disperse into their own worlds as the club filled with more people. Casey and Luke were pretty much alone and heavily intoxicated as they swayed with each other on the dance floor, looking more like lovers than friends as they danced along to the music. It wasn't before long when Luke's fingers raked through her hair and he brought her in for a kiss.

Her eyes had widened at first, but she quickly fluttered them closed and kissed him back, allowing him to deepen it. She slipped her arms around his neck and pressed into him, savoring the moment. They broke the kiss momentarily to continue dancing, but they would connect again and again as they slid their bodies against each other, lost in the beat and each other's touch.

The effects of alcohol eventually began to wear off and the patrons of the club began to leave, resulting in the group slowly making their way back over to the table. They shared a few more laughs before they said their goodbyes. Casey made her way outside to hail a cab, still pretty intoxicated, but deliriously happy. When the taxi pulled up, she opened the door and slid into the back, but before she could give the driver her address she was soon joined by Luke. He pulled her on top of him and gave her yet another deep, passionate kiss. She giggled in response and accepted the act, breaking the kiss so he could tell the cab driver his address. As the car pulled out into the road the two of them continued what they started in the bar, only the confined space allowed them to become more intimate. He ran his hands up her thighs as she raked her fingers in his hair while rocking against what she could feel was his hardening member.

The taxi driver pulled up to Luke's complex and they carelessly fell out of the car after Luke tossed some cash at the driver. They haphazardly made their way over to his townhouse and after fiddling with the key in the lock, they fell through the doorway. Once the door clicked shut behind them, Luke shucked his coat off, grabbed Casey hand and pulled her into him. She lazily fell into him, giggling, and they proceeded to explore each other's mouths even further, stumbling over to his stairs. They broke contact to ascend the stairwell, but soon resumed once they reached his bedroom area. After heated moments, Casey stopped and looked at Luke. As he stared back at her, all she saw was the one thing she yearned for hours ago when she rifled through her box of memories. She stood in front of him and allowed him to slip the dress off of her, exposing her body to him, and then fell under the spell of intoxication, lust and desire as he pulled her onto the bed.

#

Casey slowly opened her eyes, annoyed that the leftover mascara made the task already more challenging. She already knew that she wasn't in her bed; the firm mattress and unfluffy pillow covered in drool was a dead giveaway. She sat up gingerly and looked around, clutching to the blanket to cover herself. Luke was nowhere to be found. She sighed and fell back into the pillow; she hadn't meant to take it this far. Even during the period of time when they might have become something they never came close to sleeping together. Clearly the combination of hard liquor and her pining clouded her judgment.

Deciding not to postpone the awkward confrontation any longer, Casey slipped out of bed and slid on Luke's discarded shirt and combed her fingers through her brown hair. She grimaced at the leftover makeup patched on her face before rubbing some of it away. Taking a deep breath, she descended the stairwell and was greeted to Luke's back in the kitchen. He must have heard her because he turned around, causing her to gasp. In all the years she knew him, she never really saw him in something besides suits or polos and Dockers. He was wearing a fitted tank top and a pair of sweatpants that hung deliciously on his hips, his hair unruly and the slightest bit of stubble. She felt the blush creep up on her and he tossed her a goofy grin.

"So, yeah, if you want to stay here forever and come downstairs looking like that every morning, I would be quite ok with that because, damn, that's hot," he teased.

"Lukeeee," she wined in embarrassment. She walked over to the breakfast bar and put her hands on her forehead, rubbing her temples.

"Here, for the headache." He placed a couple of aspirin and a glass of water in front of her, which she happily accepted and immediately took. Momentarily a plate of bacon was placed next to the now-empty glass and her mouth watered. "And of course, we're going to need some extra greasy hangover food if we're going to talk about last night," he added once he placed the plate in front of her. Not wasting any time, she took a piece and bit into it, enjoying its salty, greasy flavors. She could already feel the pounding subsiding as he placed another plate beside her of pancakes.

"Dang, you made my favorite hangover concoction here," she said as she grabbed another piece of bacon, "and I never knew you could cook. It's pretty good."

"Thanks," he smiled as he handed her a plate. "I usually don't get the chance to cook except on the weekends, but it's definitely one of my favorite things to do." She smiled at his admission and helped herself to some pancakes. Luckily, he already knew that she loved to eat and was not shy about it, so why start now? She doused a couple of pancakes in syrup and dug in, quietly indulging in the delicious meal. Once their plates were empty, he cleared them and replaced it with a cup of coffee, another favorite that she happily accepted. She raised the mug up to her lips and took in a lengthy sip; she could feel her headache diminishing, meaning that it was time to have the night-after talk. She looked at him bashfully; he looked almost just as uncomfortable, but at the same time he looked calm about it. She shifted nervously.

"So," she started, "last night."

"Yeah, last night," he echoed.

"I haven't had that much to drink in a long time, I swear I'm becoming a lightweight," she lightly joked. He awkwardly laughed back; the tension was starting to thicken and she became even more uncomfortable. She was about to say something else, but Luke beat her to it.

"Look, Case, I'm just going to come out and say it. I've liked you for years, and I know you felt the same at one point. My promotion did come at a poor time and I know we hit the brakes, but I never, ever stopped caring about you. So, when we went out last night and you pulled me on that dance floor, I couldn't help but cave into it. So, do I regret last night? No, I don't, not at all. But, if you want to pretend it didn't happen and go back to being friends, I can probably do that. I'd rather not and I would much rather repeat it over and over again, but I respect you, especially since you just got promoted and I know you're so career driven. So, you tell me what you want, and I'll honor it."

As Casey listened to Luke's admission, she couldn't help but feel her resolve melt away. The fact that he was willing to go back to being friends and forgetting this ever happened was amazing, but what got her was that he said he respected her and her career. Suddenly, she couldn't think of a reason why she shouldn't be with him. Sure, they worked together, but they had mutual friends, they weren't each other's superior in the office, and they clearly had chemistry. She took another sip of her coffee before placing the mug down on the bar. Boldly, she slipped off the chair and walked over to him. She could feel him profiling her, lazily draped in his button down with nothing underneath. In that moment, she could feel desire emitting from him, and once she approached him, she slid her arms around his neck and smiled up at him.

"I think," she started slowly, "that we should finally give this a shot, and see what happens. I don't want to lose our friendship, and I don't want things to spread at work, but if you're willing to try this then I am, too."

Luke responded by giving her a smile and circling his arms around her waist and for a few moments, the two of them stood there. On one hand Casey was happy; she was taking another step forward in her life by taking on a new relationship. Who knew, maybe it would go somewhere; Luke was a good man, he was one of her best friends. But in that moment when she smiled back at him and stared into his royal blue eyes, a pair of rich, smoky blue ones flashed in her mind.

#

"Let me take you to dinner tonight," the voice on the line coaxed.

It had been a few hours since Luke dropped her off at home. She certainly didn't feel like walking home in a sequined dress and heels in broad daylight and for once allowed him to drive her home. She laughed at his proposition. "You just saw me a few hours ago!"

"Yeah, true, but is it so bad I want to see you again?" he retorted. "Come on, I'll take you out to a nice restaurant with real food to celebrate, no bar snacks and hard liquor. Ok, maybe some liquor, but not copious amounts." She laughed again at his persistence.

"Ok, ok, fine. You win," she replied. "But I highly doubt any liquor will be entering my system tonight, I feel like my body is in a state of shock from all the tequila and vodka I consumed last night."

"Ok fine, I won't slip you any martinis again, although I must say that me giving you that one last night did get us into this awesome predicament we're in now," he teased. "Let me pick you up at 8."

"Aw man, come on, can't we walk somewhere? There's only another month before the weather turns sour!" she protested. He knew she loved walking everywhere and constantly teased her for it, but she couldn't help it! There was something about being one of the thousands of people on the city streets that made her feel like she truly was a part of this city, not a girl from a small town in Ohio.

"Alright, fine, I'll swing by your place at 7:30 then. Maybe we can go to that place below your apartment? From what I recall their food is pretty good," he suggested.

Casey's smile strained, but she quickly relaxed. "Sure, that would be great. It's Italian in case you couldn't remember."

"That's right! Ok, perfect, I'll see you then!" With that they exchanged their goodbyes and disconnected.

Home alone with her thoughts, Casey sighed for probably the fiftieth time since she got here. Her conscious was at war with her; while her mind and body said that this was a good idea, her heart was protesting it. Casey grumbled; it's been five years since Derek left her, and she couldn't figure out why she continued to hold a torch for him. It bugged her; Luke was the first man she had been intimate since Derek. Anytime she thought about cutting back and getting wild with someone it was the memory of Derek's tantalizing touch that kept her from falling over that edge. He was her first, she thought he would be her last. How she went so far deep last night as to actually sleep with Luke baffled her. She was a little disappointed for letting her resolve fade, but then she thought back to the admission she made last night. She wanted to move on, she wanted to find love, and from the hazy memories, she saw something last night that was enough for her to succumb to him.

She sighed for the nth time and ran her fingers through her bangs. There was nothing wrong with moving on. Derek wasn't coming back. He didn't come for her in the last five years, why would he suddenly now?

As she wrapped up her thoughts, she wiped away the tears that had escaped. She decided right then and there that those would be the last tears she would ever cry for Derek Venturi. He didn't want her then, he didn't want her now, and it was time to move on.


	3. Chapter 3

"Congratulations!" firm members ringed in unison as they held up their glasses. Casey blushed at the public display of attention directed at her, but she also relished in it. She looked up at Luke who smiled back at her as he raised his glass alongside hers, grinning proudly.

"Thank you everyone!" he boasted thankfully before taking a sip of his champagne. Casey followed suit and sipped the sweet sparkling drink. It wasn't before long that coworkers and friends swarmed her, poking at details about her upcoming nuptials.

It had been two years since Casey and Luke became official, about a year since they went public at the office, and two weeks since Luke proposed to her. Emily, one of Casey's close friends at the firm, yanked her hand to flash everyone her engagement ring, a chorus of "oohs" and "aahs" ringing as they stared at the platinum band holding a 2-carat diamond.

"It's so beautiful!" Emily squeaked. "I wish Jason would propose to me with this!"

"It's huge! And is that white gold or platinum?!" another woman piped up.

"I'm pretty sure that's platinum!" someone assumed correctly.

"Damn, now THAT'S a rock!" another girl chimed in.

Casey laughed as she pulled her hand back, slightly embarrassed at people calculating the worth of her ring. Truth be told, it was much larger than she would have ever expected and she pointed that out to him, but he quickly dismissed it by telling her that the amount of the ring didn't come close in worth than she did to him. That very quickly shut any further arguments down about it, but she couldn't help but be modest. She never wore flashy items, so women flocking to admire her jewelry was foreign to her.

For the next few hours the couple talked with coworkers, supervisors and partners of the firm before the crowd dwindled. Casey and Luke soon bid their goodbyes and left, going back to his place. Once they arrived, he lovingly pulled her into him and gave her a passionate kiss.

"I can't wait until we get to do this every day," he murmured against her lips in between kisses.

She laughed in response and kissed him again. "Only another week," she added before she pressed her body against him further. After months of urging, Casey finally accepted Luke's plea for her to move into his townhouse. Now that they were engaged, she couldn't find a reason not to. She loved her small apartment that was home for seven years, but Luke's place was much larger for them to live in together. She already spent most of her time here and began to add a few of her touches to the once bachelor pad, but next Saturday she would be moving in permanently. The thought of it excited her, and in response she ran her fingers through his hair. Luke kissed her feverishly and swept her in his arms, making his way to the stairwell as he carried her upstairs. Once in his room, he gently laid her down on the bed and descended on her, and with open arms she accepted him, passionately and full of love.

As Luke unzipped her dress and she fumbled with his tie, she couldn't imagine anything being more perfect. He was passionate and delicate with her, made her feel safe and loved and when they entered the bedroom he made her feel like a Goddess. She rose up from the bed and slipped the dress off of her, revealing her curves and flat abdomen. Luke slid his hands up her body and stared up at her with hooded eyes.

"How did I get so damn lucky?" he said before he hastily grabbed her and tossed her on the bed. She squealed with delight as he mounted himself above her before she was lost in pleasure.

#

Casey propped herself against Luke's chest as she took a bite of her pizza, enjoying some quality reality TV time. She knew Luke couldn't stand watching Amazing Race, but it was a guilty pleasure of hers and on a night like tonight, where she could relax and indulge, it was one of her top priorities. Luckily Luke didn't complain too much about it, especially since he loved to have sports networks on every Sunday.

"So, I was thinking," Luke began when a commercial break aired, "about where we should get married."

Casey lifted herself off of him and turned to face him, interested in what he had to say. In fact, they hadn't talked a single wedding detail yet; she had been too preoccupied with getting her apartment situated and moving details to even think about planning a wedding.

"Do you want to get married back at your hometown?" he asked. "I don't really have family here besides my parents so I would be OK with that."

Casey smiled at his kindness, but she had no desire whatsoever to get married back home in London. Getting married back home meant inviting family and friends, and knowing her parents, a lot of family friends would be invited, meaning the Venturi's, meaning Derek. No way in Hell did she want to see him at her wedding, no way. She shook her head, "that's sweet of you, but I don't really think a wedding back home is something I want." She could tell Luke was surprised at her response. She paused for a moment. "What do you think about doing a destination wedding? You have family all over the world, mine are in the Canada, and we're in Boston. Let's go somewhere and go a vacation getaway and invite anyone who wants to pay their own way. I think that could be really nice!"

Casey watched Luke's facial expressions as he pondered her suggestion. "That's actually not a bad idea," he responded.

"We could go somewhere like Hawaii or Cabo or the Caribbean; how much fun would that be?!" The more Casey thought about it, the more excited she became.

"Ok babe, that sounds like a plan. Let's start looking into it in the coming weeks once we get you all situated here," he concluded before grabbing another slice of pizza. Happily, Casey leaned back into his chest; not only did it sound like a beautiful idea, but she would be far away from the place she once dreamt she would marry someone else. No way was she going to ruin her special day with a memory of him.

#

 _Monday_

Sitting in front of her computer, Casey rubbed her temples before looking down at the computer clock; 6:45. Her eyes were beginning to water from staring at the screen for so long, and yet she still was analyzing and crunching numbers that were not working in her favor. Grumbling, she pushed herself away from the screen and looked out at the window; the October night had started to loom, the sun long gone behind the buildings. She turned and looked out to the cubicles and saw most of her coworkers had left. She sighed and looked back at her screen before making the decision to shut it down. There was no way she was going to solve this tonight, she was in dire need of a mental break.

Casey stood up and stretched out before walking over to her doorway. She peered down the hallway to see Luke's light still on, and made her way to his office. Rasping on his doorframe, she walked in and sat down in the chair in front of his desk. He looked just as drained as she did.

"This guy is going to be the death of me," Luke grimaced as he looked up at her from the various papers sprawled on his desk.

"Seems we're in the same state of mind, except I've decided to shut down. How much longer are you sticking around?"

"At least another hour," he shrugged. "You're leaving? If you stick around we can go home together."

Casey shook her head. "Nah, I only have one week left at my place; walking home this week will be nice and nostalgic." She sadly smiled upon her realization; no longer would she be in walking distance to her home.

"Ok babe, if you wish," he said before rubbing his eyes. "Do you want me to come by or something after I am done here?"

She shook her head again. "I have some stuff I still need to get squared away and packed up if I'm going to be all set for Saturday, so it's probably best if for the week I focus on that."

"So, I don't get to see you for a week?!" Luke mock pouted. She laughed in response.

"Oh please, you see me every day here. You just won't see me in private," she giggled. He groaned in response. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder!" She stood up and walked over to him, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "I'll talk to you later?"

"You sure know how to cut me deep, babe," he mocked before looked back at his paperwork. She left him with his thoughts and returned to her office to collect her coat and bag. Before she shut off her office light, she took one last peek outside; from the looks of it, it was going to storm, and any moment.

After taking the elevator to the lobby, Casey pushed through the large glass windows and was greeted with a sharp chill and lingering of sprinkling raindrops. She shuddered as she pushed into the crowds, all of which were in a hurry to get out of the impending storm. She huffed as she clutched on to her briefcase and purse, eager to weave through the crowds in hopes of getting back to her place dry. Unfortunately, luck was not on her side; a wave of cold rain dropped down on the crowds, causing an eruption of a groan as umbrellas, briefcases, and newspapers hoisted into the air in hopes of shielding various pedestrians.

Resulting what felt like a long, icy cold walk, Casey finally approached her street. Of course, she was drenched and frowned at the thought of not taking a warm, dry taxi. "At least I'm home now," she quickly thought, dismissing the annoyance of being damp. As she approached her stoop, she saw someone leaning against the building under the awning. As she approached the stairwell, she was about to walk past him when she hesitantly stopped.

After seven years, she still could recognize his build, his posture, his face, and those eyes.

"Derek?" she whispered hesitantly as she stared at the man. He straightened in response and looked back at her, causing her to gasp.

"Hello, Casey."

#

It felt like her airways had been shut off, but she had finally mustered enough speech to invite him inside to dry off. He accepted and followed her in, and she couldn't help but be very aware of his presence near her. She shuddered; why on earth was he here?

She grabbed a few towels out of a box and offered him one, which he accepted as he began to dry himself off. She watched as he delicately ran the towel over his face, the towel lowering from his brow, over the bridge of his nose, to his lips, and then glided over his chiseled chin. Even after seven years, he looked exactly the same way she recalled in her memories. He slid the towel up to his hair and began to ruffle it, his brown hair sticking out in sexy spikes. Shaking off the last thought, she dug for some courage to speak to him.

"What are you doing here?" she asked a little too bluntly. "In Boston?" she quickly added. He didn't seem to notice.

"I'm up here through Friday for a game down against the Bruins," he replied, looking down at her. "I thought that since I was in the area that I would look you up and see how you are."

"Ah," she replied. "That's interesting." Silence loomed over the two of them again, and Casey was at a loss for words. She had no idea what to even say to him, let alone act around him.

"How have you been?" he finally asked, looking around her place. "Moving?"

She nodded in response. "Yes, at the end of the week."

"Congratulations," he replied. "It looks like you're doing well for yourself," he added. She tossed him a smile.

"Yes, very well. How about you?" She walked over to the couch and sat down, gesturing him to follow suit. He obliged and sat opposite of her.

"Very good, thank you. I completed my dream of winning the Stanley Cup last season. Got an injury and had a lot of physical therapy to complete to get ready for this season. It's been hectic, but I really do enjoy it. I've finally been cleared to play again," he said.

"Wow, that's amazing," Casey replied.

"Yes, it's challenging, very difficult at times, but overall rewarding," he said. "But what about you? Last I knew you worked at a financing company."

"Yes," she answered, "I work at DPI; I'm a senior financial analyst. Hard work and long hours, but I love it."

"That's impressive," he replied.

"Thank you."

Another silence loomed over them momentarily before Darien spoke. "You cut your hair."

She nodded as she touched the base of her neck, the stands of the long bob of brown hair still sticking to it. "Yes, I did."

"It's strange seeing you without your long hair," he admitted.

"I needed a change, long hair was too challenging to take care of working long, late hours," she lamented.

"Ah."

"Yeah."

Another awkward silence began, and Casey began to feel irritated. Why did he have to come here? Why did he have to point out her hair? He always loved her long hair and constantly commented on it, and of course he had to go and point it out. Suddenly she felt herself outburst. "Why are you here, Derek? I mean, here, with me, not in the city. Why did you decide after seven years of silence to finally talk to me?"

"Casey, I –" he began.

"No, this isn't right, Derek. You stand on my doorstep, you tell me you wanted to look me up, you tell me I'm doing well for myself, and I'm supposed to just sit here and be chummy with you?" Anger began to course through her veins, anger she didn't know she was still holding on to. While he flashed in to her memories over the last two years occasionally, she was able to dismiss them quickly with thoughts of Luke. Aside from little things, she thought she finally had escaped the hold of him. But here he was, sitting here, those hypnotic eyes staring into her. She shifted uncomfortably as he looked at her, unable to read his expression.

Finally, after moments of silence, he stood up.

"I'm here because I love you, Casey. I love you and I never stopped, and I am here to get you back."


	4. Chapter 4

Casey was dumbstruck. Derek had just told her he still loved her. She felt like she couldn't breathe. She had no idea what to even say.

"Derek…" was all she could muster. He knelt down in front of her, looked up at her and ran his long fingers through her damp hair.

"The last seven years I have been going crazy without you. I thought I didn't need you, and I thought I needed to establish myself out in New York by myself. I thought you would still go out there and go to school, and we would find each other and I could win you back somehow, someway. But then I learned you moved and left for Boston. I didn't know how to act or what to do. I thought you wanted nothing to do with me, so I tried to move on. And I did, or so I thought. But the last six months all I could think about was your smile, your scent, your laugh. And I tried to tell myself I was fine without you, but then I got cleared to play and I was excited to be able play again. My first game was here in Boston. I needed to find you, see you, and tell you that I am not leaving here without a fight for you."

Tears slipped out. For years she waited for this declaration of love, hearing that he wanted her and loved her, and now that it had happened she didn't know what to do with it.

She could feel her face scrunch in pain. The words tasted like poison in her mouth. For so long she wanted to say something, anything to him. Anything but this:

"I'm getting married," she whispered.

Derek quickly disentangled his hands and stood back up. The look on his face nearly crushed her, and a sob escaped her throat.

"I should have known," he said as he looked around her place. "You're moving in with him."

She nodded slowly. He turned his back to her and made his way to his coat.

"I understand. I won't bother you again, I'm sorry that I interrupted your life out here," he quietly stated.

Suddenly panic arose in her, and as he opened the door to leave she ran up to him and clung on to him. He stopped in his tracks and for a moment, time stood still. She closed her eyes and blueprinted everything about him in this moment, knowing that this would be the last time she would ever see, feel, touch, smell him again. Her heart was breaking in those last moments, but as she went to loosen her grip around him, he turned around. Their faces were mere inches from each other, she could feel his breath as hers becoming jagged.

Their lips touched. He pressed herself against him, and in that moment, she lost all sense of everything but Derek. It was a familiar taste that she yearned for, craved, and she couldn't stop herself. She leaned into him and he wrapped his fingers into her hair again, the pressure between them intensifying as he pressed her closer into him. Tears slipped out, the beads of reality crashing her back down. She pushed him off of her and wiped at her eyes.

"Go," she whispered. He couldn't be here. He needed to disappear again, or else she would do something stupid. She knew she would, and she hated herself for it. "You need to go," she said with more command.

Derek looked at her with challenging eyes. "Why?"

"Because, Derek, this isn't right, I can't do this to him," she stammered out, feeling repulsed by her actions. She closed her eyes and pressed her fingers against the bridge of her nose. "I can't see you again. I can't kiss you again. You need to go. Now."

"This isn't over, Casey," he coolly challenged. With that he turned around and walked out the door, it softly clicking behind him. Her knees finally gave out as she collapsed to the floor, her mind rattled, her body shaken, and her heart pounding.

An hour later, Casey sat on her couch starring at her boxes around the apartment. Just mere hours ago she had intended to continue her packing venture, getting everything ready to begin yet another new milestone with Luke. She was happy about it, too. She was going to be moving in with the man she was in love with, the man she had vowed to be true and faithful to for eternity. And within a half hour of a blast from the past, it unraveled.

Five years ago, had this happened she probably would have fell back into his arms and let him whisk her away back to their hometown. She would have been able to pretend like nothing ever happened. But it wasn't just about her anymore. She had to think of Luke; if he found out she kissed her ex mere weeks after their engagement and days before moving in together, he would definitely be hurt by it. If the roles were reversed she would be crushed. She felt disgusted with herself. Why couldn't she just let him walk out of her life again? He did it once before and she survived. Had she let him, it would have been because of her moving on.

She bit the side of her lip; she never stopped to think in all the years of justifying and longing for him that he left her because of what she represented in his mind. In fact, he pretty much said he didn't want to be tied down to his roots when they first broke up, and in his little speech earlier he said he had expected her to still follow him out there. She frowned; was she that desperate? Did he really think she would just move to another state and live her life in his shadows until he was ready? She sneered at the thought and stood up. No, she was better than that. She moved here because of an amazing opportunity, and she made it by herself out here. She wasn't anyone's second choice, she was someone's first and only choice. Luke wanted her, all of her, for everything she was. Casey stared down at her ring, the very symbol of his love and commitment winking back at her. She loved Luke, and she was sure of it. She would not let a moment of weakness paralyze her from moving forward with him.

Casey stood up and walked over to the cluster of items needed to be boxed up. Gently, she lifted up a pile of blankets and placed them in an empty box, followed by other trinkets and momentous she intended to bring with her. One kiss from Derek wasn't going to change anything, she decided.

As she finished her thought, though, her lips tingled in delirious desire.

#

 _Tuesday_

"You never answered my calls!" a voice broke her train of thought. Casey looked up to see Luke standing in the doorway, looking mock-hurt holding his phone over his heart.

She tossed him a weak smile. "I'm sorry sweetie," she apologized. Truthfully, she had ignored them. She couldn't bring herself to talk to him without fear of admitting everything.

His goofy look suddenly changed to one of concern as he walked over to her. "Are you okay?" he asked, sitting across from her. "You look exhausted."

Not only couldn't she sleep last night, but she came in to the office at 6 in the morning to try and distract her mind from the prior night's memories. It had been working until then. "I couldn't sleep and thought I would come in and try to work on this project," she meekly replied. Thankfully, he understood sleepless nights because of frustrating work and seemed to buy it.

"Don't stress yourself out too much, ok? Do you want me to get you coffee or something? I'm running out to get some in a few," he offered.

"Actually, that sounds amazing. Thank you," she said. He smiled back at her and walked out of the office. She sighed and stared back at her work, hoping that she could get lost in numbers and percentiles again, at least until he came back with some caffeine for her.

Another hour passed by and Luke kindly dropped off her favorite cinnamon latte at her desk. She graciously accepted and downed it, focused in her work. She stared at the paperwork, feverishly writing out numbers and plugging them into her computer system. Finally, she was getting somewhere. She leaned back in her chair and happily sighed. Pleased at her progress, she pulled out another stack of investment paperwork before a knock interrupted her flow. She scowled before she turned to the door, but it quickly dissolved as two dozen pink roses stood in her doorway.

"Now these are gorgeous," Emily exclaimed as she sauntered in to Casey's office with them. "About damn time Luke sent you some flowers here!" she laughed. "Which, by the way, I snagged off the front desk when the flower guy dropped them off. I figured you'd rather someone who knows and understands the importance of love roses not being manhandled by the mail guys downstairs." Casey smiled and pulled out the little white card, reading the little love note she had assumed would be from Luke.

 _8:00pm tonight at the Westin bar. I need to see you._

Casey's eyes widened, but she quickly blinked her surprise away before putting the card face-down on her desk. Emily went to go read it, but Casey quickly snatched it away. She mumbled some lame excuse it was from a client thanking her for her work and tossed the card away. Luckily Emily seemed to buy it and didn't ask anything else, just continued to fawn over the flowers. Casey, however, felt lousy lying to yet another person this morning.

"Do you want them?" Casey asked Emily.

"Oh my gosh, you serious?" she asked as she reached for the vase.

Casey nodded. "My allergies have been acting up so it might be a good idea if they're not in here, ya know?" she sadly suggested. Pink roses were her favorite and it pained her to give them away.

"I think I can help you out with that," Emily happily replied as she whisked them off her desk and made her way to the doorway. "Thank you!"

"No problem, Em," Casey replied as she watched her practically skip away. When she was sure she was out of sight, Casey took another look at the card and shook her head. No, she wasn't going to meet him there, she reaffirmed before she tossed the card out. She looked back over to the mound of paperwork; suddenly she didn't feel so accomplished anymore.

#

Staying at work until 9:00 was a great idea, Casey decided, when she turned the light off in her office. No one was around, she finally completed her project, and was invited to a dinner meeting with her client tomorrow to discuss her work. Her hand itched to reach for her phone to call Luke, but she shook her head. Usually when one of them completed a challenging client they would meet out for a celebratory drink, a tradition from many years ago, but she could feel the fatigue overtaking and calling him and then waiting for him to meet her out wouldn't be worth it. Her stomach, however, growled loudly, mentally reminding her she hadn't eaten since she shoved a sandwich in her mouth at noontime. Perhaps she could get Margie, the waitress at the café below her apartment, to package her up some pasta or something. She was starving.

Walking through the empty lobby, she waved goodbye to the guard and walked down the large stairs. Even at nighttime the city was full of people wandering, and she quickly merged in amongst the group of people. She took a few steps towards her place when she felt a hand grab her arm and pull her to the side. She almost screamed, but recognized him and snapped her brows together in anger.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?!" she seethed, looking at Derek. "You scared the shit out of me!"

"You didn't come," he said.

"Obviously!" she replied. "Again, what the hell do you think you are doing?!"

"I said I wanted to see you, and you weren't coming. So, I figured I would stop by your place, but you weren't there, either. I was on my way back to the hotel when I saw you walk out of your office. You're avoiding me," he stated.

"Yes, of course I am!" she relayed.

"Why?" he challenged.

"Because, Derek, I have a life here, and I'll be damned if you interrupt it," she huffed and started to walk away. He grabbed her arm again and whirled her around, the two of them being mere inches apart. She stood her ground, however; while she was very aware of how close they were, she wasn't going to submit to him again.

"Can we go somewhere more private?" he asked her. She shook her head. "Why not?"

"I'm going home. I've been at work since 6 this morning, I am starving, and it's after 9! Go back to your hotel, Derek, and let me on my way." She took off, walking away from him, and this time he did not stop her. She fought the urge to look back, wondering if he was following her, but she refused; she was not going to let him think she was looking back to see if he would come after her. No way.

Suddenly, a drink didn't sound like such a bad idea, especially when she passed by her favorite Irish pub. She ducked in to the pub and made her way to the bar, placing her briefcase and coat underneath her stool. She smiled when the bartender greeted her, where she proceeded to order a beer and some mozzarella sticks. After he passed her a beer, she grabbed a couple of bar pretzels from the bowl and turned to focus on the TV.

"You know, you shouldn't eat those," a voice boomed from behind her.

"Damn it, Derek, why the hell are you following me?" she snapped, not even looking at him. She heard him slid onto the stool next to her, but she still refused to look his way. Instead she tauntingly bit into her pretzel followed by a long sip of her beer.

"I don't think I ever could have pictured you going alone into a bar," Derek thoughtfully said. He looked over to the bartender. "I'll have what she has."

"Ugh, seriously? You're staying?"

"Of course, I am, I said I wanted to see you, so here I am," he replied.

"Stalker," she grumbled. She turned her attention once again to the TV, but she was flustered by him being here. They didn't exchange any words and she stayed determined to continue to watch the show and drink her beer. However, when her food came, she snarled as he stole one. "Those are mine," she pressed as he bit the end off of the mozzarella stick, the cheese seeping out.

"And it's oh so delicious," he replied in a snarky fashion. In response, she moved the basket over to the left of her. "What, no marinara for me to dip it in?"

"You're an ass," she stated.

"Nothing's changed," he smiled at her as he finished the snack.

"Hmph," was all she could say before she bit in to the deep fried cheesy snack. Her resolve slightly melted away as she savored the food, her hunger taking over her senses. He must have noticed because he laughed.

"And clearly you haven't changed with your love of food," he pointed out. She frowned.

", Derek, I have changed quite a bit, thank you very much."

"How, by cutting your hair and going solo into a bar?" he asked before taking a sip of his beer.

"I've done quite a bit of changing by moving up here, thank you very much," she replied, grabbing at another cheese stick.

"Yeah? Tell me," he dared.

"I have lived on my own for seven years, I graduated top of my class from Harvard, I am the only senior analyst under 30 in my firm, I have made some of the best friends ever out here, and, I drink beer now!" she concluded as she took a long sip of her beer. "And I think it's delicious!"

Derek burst into laughter. "That's right! You only drank froofy, fluffy drinks because you couldn't stand the taste of alcohol back in high school. I forgot all about that! My, my, I was wrong, you've become quite a cultured woman."

"Damn straight," she replied as she went to take another sip of her beer, but she couldn't help but smile into the glass. He was good at making her laugh, she had forgotten about that.

"So, tell me, why didn't you include your fiancé in your list of accomplishments of change," he asked. She frowned.

"Because he's not an accomplishment, he's a person," she replied. "A good one at that."

"Uh huh," he said as he looked into his beer glass. "I think I'm going to order some more food. That was good."

She frowned at his quick dismissal of Luke. As if right on cue, her phone started ringing, and Derek looked to her briefcase as if he was challenging her to look at it. She hesitated, but she grabbed her phone and answered the call.

"Hi, no I left not too long ago. Yeah, I just stopped in at Paddy's to grab a bite to eat. Nah I'm leaving shortly, I was just starving. Ok. You too. Yup. Goodnight." She quickly disconnected the call and slid the phone back into her briefcase.

"Aw, no I love you?" he mocked as he finished off his beer. Her brows snapped together in anger.

"That's none of your business," she coolly stated. "And on that note, I'm leaving." She stood up and tossed a couple of bills on the bar before sliding her coat on. "Goodnight, Derek," she stated as she grabbed her bag and walked out the bar.

She huffed as she walked down the sidewalk; how dare he call her out on anything having to do with Luke! She was in a state beyond irritated. She quickly tossed a glance behind her and let out a sigh of relief when he wasn't behind her. However, the fatigue was back and she continued her quickened pace to get to her apartment.

Thankfully, the bar was only two blocks away from her apartment, so she ascended the stairwell and burst into her place, dropping in annoyance her belongings on the table next to the door before throwing herself on the couch. She sighed into it, frustrated, exhausted, and irritated. Why was he so persistent about seeing her? Why did she even entertain it as long as she did?

She yawned into the arm of the couch as her eyes began to close, thoughts of Derek plaguing her mind.


	5. Chapter 5

_Wednesday_

 _#_

"I am so, so sorry babe, I wish I could come, you know I do, but I have my meeting tonight with Mr. Kraft," Luke apologetically said to Casey, who pursed her lips in annoyance. Tonight, was her dinner with her client, Ronald Jacobson, a real estate mongrel who had property all over Boston. She had discovered that his finances were off by hundreds of thousands of dollars due to his wife – soon to be ex-wife – quietly transferring money out of his account into various others. Once she solved the riddle, he was beyond appreciative and insisted on taking her to dinner, along with her boss. Spouses were invited, but from this conversation it appeared she would be going solo.

"You can't postpone?" She already knew the answer; Arnold Kraft was an 85-year-old man sitting on a ton of money he did absolutely nothing with, yet he was extremely meticulous with knowing all numbers and costs. Unfortunately for her, he took a trusting to Luke, who had monthly meetings with him to update him on his status. He paid top dollar for Luke's loyalty and on-demand presence, which frustrated them both but made their bosses quite happy.

"No, the first and last time I tried postponing with Kraft he called Ryan, and then I got a lecture for at least an hour about proper client support and service expectations. I hate that I won't be there, more than you know," he said as he grabbed her hand, gently stroking her knuckles. She sighed.

"I know. The thought of going alone is bumming me out, though," she admitted.

"Why don't you bring someone from around here?" Luke suggested. She shook her head.

"Nah, I don't want to bring someone and have it all awkward. It's alright, I'll deal with it," she shrugged. "Have you ever been to the Blue Room? That's where we're going."

Luke whistled through his teeth. "Very nice place, extremely romantic. That Jacobson man better not be putting the moves on you there," he joked as he narrowed his eyes.

She lightly chuckled at his mock-jealousy. "Well considering that Ryan and his wife are going, I think we're okay on that matter," she consoled. "Do you know where it is?"

"It's down on Carter. It's actually right by the Westin if that helps you out," Luke recalled. Casey nearly choked; luckily, Luke hadn't noticed.

"And you're positive you can't come?" she stressed, urgency suddenly pulsing through her.

"Tell you what, if my meeting with Kraft by some miracle ends early, I will call you. What time is the dinner?" Luke asked as he pulled out his phone.

"7:30," she replied. She watched as Luke flipped through his phone.

"My meeting is at 6:00 over in Bloomfield, so I will do my best to get to you by 7:30. Let's hope Kraft doesn't ask too many questions." Casey smiled in triumph.

"You have no idea how much this means to me," she said in relief. Luke's smile perked at that.

"I'm happy to hear how much you want me there with you, so thank you," he replied. "But please don't hate me if I can't make it, because there is always that chance."

"I know, I know," she said, "I just appreciate that you're going to try."

Luke stood up out of her visitor's chair and straightened out his tie. "I'm going to go finish putting together his monthly statements. Do you want to grab lunch?" She nodded in reply. "I'll come get you at noontime." After their goodbyes, he left her office and she let out a huge sigh of relief.

"The last thing I need is to see him when I'm with my boss," she muttered as she turned her focus to her work. She would need to leave on time today if she was to get home, change, and make it to dinner, and her work pile was ever growing. She pressed her lips and reached for her first pile, eager to redirect her thoughts.

#

When Luke said near the Westin, he left out quite an important detail: that it was located _in_ the Westin. Casey practically argued with the cab driver when he pulled in, but he insisted that she had arrived at the correct destination. Unfortunately, he was right. She grumbled in annoyance as she stood in the lobby, watching all the presumed doctors buzz through the area discussing whatever medical information they had just learned. Casey straightened out her black dress for the tenth time, eager for her boss and his wife to arrive. Ryan had emailed her asking her to meet up in the lobby so they could all go up together, which she happily obliged. She didn't want to walk into such a restaurant unaccompanied. She did, however, arrive a half hour early, leaving her to stand and wait.

"Well, well, isn't this a surprise," she heard behind her. She squinted her eyes shut and felt her shoulders drop, knowing full well who found her. Sighing, she turned around to face him.

"It's not for you," she boldly stated. While her voice came out strong, she felt herself succumbing to him, unable to stop her eyes from gazing the sight of him in his suit, especially how it sat on his broad shoulders. He looked handsome, in every explanation of the word, and she felt herself begin to blush.

"Such a shame," he shrugged. "You look absolutely stunning." Her blush deepened, suddenly well aware of her fitted black dress and Christian Louboutin's. She swallowed.

"Again, it's not for you," she said as her eyes narrowed. She may have fallen to his antics last night, but she wasn't going to allow herself to do it again. She was much stronger than that. "And if you'll excuse me, I have to go." She turned to leave, but stopped when Derek grabbed at her hand.

"Listen, ah, I know last night I was a bit of a jerk. I got carried away. But when I realized I wasn't going to see you again, I freaked out. I thought maybe, just maybe, if I walked up to your work, maybe I'd see you there. I didn't mean to revert back to old habits and pick on you. I'm sorry," Derek apologized. Casey sighed.

"You don't get to intrude on my life like this, Derek," she said firmly. "Again, if you'll excuse me." She looked at him, waiting for him to let go of her hand. He complied, letting her walk away. She took in a deep Breath and straightened her shoulders, very aware of his eyes on her as she moved further away from him. She swallowed hard as she felt her heart pounding in protest, but she wasn't going to let him win. No, he didn't deserve to win. He didn't deserve her.

#

After what felt like an eternity, ten minutes later her boss and his wife, Bre, arrived. Casey had met Bre many times prior, and was completely surprised to find that she was only a few years older than her the first time she met. The two of them had clicked immediately, always chatting with one another at corporate events and occasionally meeting up for coffee or lunch together. Truly a power couple, Bre was part owner of the Boston Bruins. Kindness always radiated from her, a trait that Casey adored. She didn't get too close to her, however, knowing that she is the boss' wife; but nonetheless, it was a pleasant distraction to have tonight.

"Bre, how are you?" Casey said as she gave her a gentle embrace, which Bre returned.

"Everything is great. Ryan, stop overworking this woman!" Bre laughed as she play-swatted him. Ryan just shook his head with a smile.

"Bre, if I didn't overwork this woman, we wouldn't be here tonight, now would we," he teased back. "Come on, Casey, let's go celebrate. Is Luke on his way?"

"He had a meeting with Arnold Kraft at 6, so I'm not sure," she said with a shrug. "He said he would try to be here.

"Luke is a good man," Ryan mused, clearly pleased that he put his own client before this dinner. Casey frowned at the obvious satisfaction.

"Yes, he is," she agreed, "although it would have been nice to share this with him."

"I'm sure he will make it, right Ryan?" It was more of an insistence than a question, Casey noted, as she watched Bre look up at her husband, her blue eyes full of demand. One thing about Ryan and Bre's relationship that Casey had quickly picked up on is that while Ryan may be the one of the Partners of the office, Bre was certainly the boss at home, and just about everywhere else. When Bre was displeased, Ryan became grains of sugar slipping through her fingertips. True to her thought, Ryan's mouth pursed as his cell phone pulled out.

"If you'll excuse me a moment," he said as stepped away from the two of them. Bre smiled back at Casey.

"Luke should be here soon," Bre gently laughed as she straightened out an imaginary wrinkle on her dress.

Casey shot a small smile of thanks, but also felt slightly uncomfortable. Hopefully Bre's demand wouldn't interfere with her relationship with Ryan. While she appreciated that he stepped off, presumably to call Luke, she didn't need the boss' wife to fight her battles for her. She understood why he wasn't here, despite how frustrating it was.

"Come with me to the ladies' room before we go upstairs?" Bre asked as she linked Casey's arm, steering her in the direction of the restrooms. Casey strode alongside her, their heels simultaneously clicking amongst the marble floors of the lobby.

"I sure hope that there isn't a long wait to get into the restaurant," Bre mused, looking around at all the people gathered in the lobby. "Although, I am sure there is a reservation secured," she concluded.

"I would presume so," Casey agreed. "I agree, though, I am not sure why we he chose a hotel restaurant rather than any of the other areas amongst the city."

"The Blue Room is quite lovely," Bre acknowledged. "And they do have some of the best seafood in the city."

"I've never been," Casey responded as they arrived at the restroom. Casey gently tousled her hair before checking her makeup. She did not have a lot of time to get ready, so she did the absolute minimum makeup job, only adding on light hues of eyeshadow and mascara. She pulled out a tube of lipstick and reapplied the light pink shade, sweeping the shimmering pigment over her lips. Taking a step back, Casey looked in the full-length mirror – a nice touch for a hotel restroom, she deemed – fretting over her outfit. Derek's complement lingered as she profiled herself. Perhaps she was too dressed up? She knew that Luke loved this outfit when she wore it a few months ago, especially the heels he splurged on for her birthday. Irritation blossomed as she tried to ward off the complement singing in her mind. Luke. She dresses up for Luke and no one else.

"Casey, are you okay?" Bre emerged behind her, Breaking Casey of her thoughts.

Casey turned to her, plastering on a fake smile. "Just a little nervous, I've never been to such a dinner," she lied, hoping the brilliant woman would not catch on. Bre smiled back and placed a reassuring hand on her arm, giving a gentle squeeze.

"Don't worry, we will have some chatter, some wine, and an amazing meal. You've earned this, Case," she added. Casey exchanged a wider grin.

After a few more checks, the girls emerged to find Ryan waiting by the elevators, holding a discussion with who Casey presumed to be a hotel guest or colleague. Her breath hitched in her throat as their approach neared when she realized who he was talking to.

"Ladies," Ryan called out as he motioned for Bre and Casey to join him. As they approached, Casey's stomach felt like a pit was forming. Why was he always around every corner?

"This is Derek Venturi, he is the best player on the New York Rangers hockey team," Ryan introduced. "Derek, this is my lovely wife, Bre part owner of the Bruins, and my colleague, Casey McDonald."

"How do you do?" Bre extended her hand and shook his, exchanging brief pleasantries. Casey, however, kept her arm at her side while watching him with distrusting eyes, none too eager to strike up a conversation.

"So, Mr. Venturi, what brings you here?" Bre asked.

"Derek, please. I am staying here at the Westin and was just about to grab a drink," he answered.

"How wonderful! I have been wanting to meet you since I heard about your successful recovery before the game later this week unfortunately the timing hasn't been on my side. What do you think of Boston so far Derek?"

"I am finding the city and the Bruins stadium to my liking," he replied. "And you?"

"I couldn't imagine living anywhere else. The stadium is definitely one of the best in the country," she answered.

Casey continued to stand there and watch them engage in conversation, her irritation growing. She began to grow uncomfortable, especially when he would look up at her while talking with Bre. She inwardly seethed at the obnoxious bad luck she was having running in to him. Desperate, she glanced around the lobby, hoping that Luke would burst through at any moment. Instead she was greeted with the site of strangers. Annoyed, she looked down at her watch. She thanked the stars when she that it was just shy of half past 7, her grin a little too wide.

"Ryan, it is 7:30 now," Casey overeagerly interrupted, effectively ending the conversation. Ryan nodded as he looked down at his own watch in agreeance.

"Yes, it is. If you will excuse us, Derek, we have a dinner reservation to attend. It was wonderful meeting you," he boasted as he shook his hand.

"And you too, sir," he added as he nodded to Ryan and Bre. As he began to walk away, just as Bre and Ryan's turned to face the elevator, Derek stopped mid-stride.

"Casey."

Her exterior remained stiff, forcing herself to not be provoked by his voice. A voice as smooth as honey, and just as sweet. Her heart pounded wildly as it was injected. Casey let herself glance back at him, watching as he slowly walked away from her. She hated the effect he had on her, how after so long he could blaze into her life and throw her emotions into turbulence. He was like drug, and no matter how many times she tried to quit him, he would slip back into her senses, tempting her mind with his azure eyes and seductive smile. She sucked in a longing breath, reminding herself why he was no good for her. She startled when she noticed he was looking back at her, his eyes mirroring what she could only imagine hers were casting. Snapping back, she detached her gaze and slipped her mask back on, cursing herself for allowing him to see a moment of weakness. Just as she was about to turn around, breezing beyond Derek's frame was Luke, waving to the group just as the elevator dinged. Once he approached, Luke wrapped his arm around Casey's waist as he shook Bre and Ryan's hand. The doors of the lift sprung open.

Casey took one daring final look. All she saw was agony.

#

The couple waved as Ryan's driver drove away from the hotel, and Luke quickly encircled Casey's hips and placed a kiss on her forehead. "I am so, so proud of you," he boasted as they swayed. She wrapped her arms around his neck.

"You have no idea how happy I am you made it," she replied. "How did you get here so fast?"

"Ryan called me just as I was wrapping up. He sent his driver up to come get me so I wouldn't miss your dinner," he briefly explained. Casey smiled.

"That was so nice of him," she said. "How was his car?"

"Amazing," he simply replied. The two of them laughed.

"Ok, baby, time to continue this celebration. I am so proud of you!" he loudly exclaimed as he kissed her lips, his hands sliding up and down her frame. "Hotel bar?"

She grinned; his excitement was always infectious. "Hotel bar," she agreed. He clasped her hand and led her to the space, it's large bar situated in the open with tables sprawled throughout. As they approached, she leaned up against the countertop, but straightened quickly as she heard him emit a low groan. She faced him, raising an eyebrow in question.

"That dress," Luke simply said, explaining it all. Yes, this is why she wore this. This is exactly why she wore this. She returned to him a seductive smile.

"I thought we were getting a drink?" she asked in mock innocence, causing him to grin even more.

"Baby, the things you do to me," he said as his hands settled back on her hips, pressing her into his frame. She let out a gasp as she felt his response.

"Luke!" she quietly exclaimed.

"It's the dress!" he excused.

"You go sit down and get yourself under control mister, and I'll bring us over a round," she instructed. He pouted, but she waved her finger at him. He grinned and walked away, taking a seat presumably over by the window, as he was out of sight.

"Never pictured you with tall and slender."

"Argh!" she exclaimed as she slammed her hands down on the bar top. "Again?!"

"Hey, I was here first this time," Derek countered. "You were just too distracted to notice." He wrinkled his nose as he finished the statement.

Her eyes flashed anger, but she quickly redirected her thoughts as she placed hers and Luke's drink order. "I'm not leaving just because you're here," she stated.

"And I'm not leaving just because you're here with him," he spat back, sipping his amber liquid. She shuddered.

"Fine!"

"Fine."

The bartender returned with their drinks, which she paid for and snatched away in a huff. She suddenly didn't feel like celebrating anymore. As she approached the table, she tried to hide the angst and frustration, but Luke picked up on it.

"You ok, babe?" he asked.

She let out a frustrated Breath. "Yes, just surprised at the cost of the drinks," she lied.

"Yeah, hotels can rip you off," he said as he took a sip of his drink, believing her. She sipped hers as well, the mixture of cranberry and vodka swirling around her mouth.

The two of them chatted, but her excitement quickly died down and wanted more than anything to get out of there. She never told Luke about Derek. Nothing specific, anyway. When they discussed their past relationships, she told him she had a bad Breakup, but it allowed for the opportunity to move to Boston. When he tried to ask details, she evaded them and redirected it to the "But I got to meet you!" line. She never fully understood why she refused to open that wound to Luke. He would have listened and understood. He probably would have sealed that wound up completely, had she mentioned it to him in the beginning. And right now, she wish she had.

She must have stopped talking, because Luke interrupted her thoughts again asking if she was alright.

"I'm just getting a little tired," she excused. "It's been a long day."

He nodded in understanding. "Do you want to come back home to my place tonight?"

She almost rejected, thinking that she needed to be away from him while her mind was in turmoil. But, maybe, being with him that night was the right antidote to get Derek out of her head.

She nodded. "Take me home, baby." He stood up and extended his hand out to her, which she gladly took.

"Your wish is my command," he said as he kissed the back of her hand. He lifted her out of the chair and twirled her, wrapping his arm once again his waist. As they walked away, she cast back one final glance at the bar.

He was gone.


	6. Chapter 6

_Thursday_

-beep - - beep - - beep-

Never in her life had she been so thankful for the alarm to wake her up. Not only was Derek haunting her during the day, but he managed to creep into her dreams. She flopped back down on the pillow. She hated that memory. Her heart broke that night. The beginning of the end.

Rolling out of bed, Casey made her way in to the closet and pondered her outfit choice of the day. Slipping off Luke's shirt, she slipped on her favorite lacy black bra and thong before selecting a charcoal gray dress. Just as she reached up to grab it, she felt Luke slip up behind her and straddle her hips.

"Luke," she said in protest as he kissed the small of her neck. After having such a dream, she was not in the mood for another man's kiss. He didn't back down, however, as his hands gently slid down her torso, caressing her skin as his lips made their way up her neck.

"Luke," she said a little more firmly. She turned around to stop him, causing him to pout.

"Luke, I have a meeting at eight I can't be late for," she lamely excused her rejection. She sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair.

"And it begins," he teased as he put his hands over his heart, backing out of the walk-in. She didn't tease him back, rather she reached up and pulled her dress off the hanger. Never had she rejected Luke's advances before, especially in the morning. She found that some morning fooling around put them both in great moods for the day, something Emily had too much fun pointing out. But with Derek latched to her brain like a leech, she felt wrong. She laughed sadly; how is it wrong making love to your fiancé?

Completing the task at hand, she slipped the material against her and zipped it up, adding her black pumps and usual makeup to her outfit. After she emerged from the bedroom and to the kitchen, Luke's back was to her, making a pot of coffee. Her heart fell. He didn't deserve to suffer at the weight of her emotional baggage. She walked up to him and gave him a hug, pressing herself into his back. He turned around and enveloped her.

"You okay?" he asked her as he rubbed her back. She leaned her head against his chest and for a moment contemplated telling him everything. The encounters, the exchanges, the wounds, _the kiss._ She quickly dismissed it.

"I'm just a little overwhelmed," she excused. _I've been making a lot of excuses lately_ , she lamented.

"Tell me what I can do to help," he insisted as he continued to rub her back. She closed her eyes, trying to enjoy the sensation of the gesture, but all she could feel was the dull heartache that lingered from her dream. Her memories.

#

"Hey Emily," Casey said as she slipped into her friend's office. Emily was the closest Casey had to a best friend, and the only reason why she said that was that she, too, was excluded from the heartache of what was Casey's past turmoil. Emily was a huge advocate and supporter of the Casey-Luke relationship, especially in the early stages before anything even managed to become something. Emily always teased her about holding back, and somehow Casey would never find the words to tell Emily that her heart was still recovering. Truthfully, she kept her suffering to herself, only confiding in her friend – the other Emily – back home in London. Her life out here was separate from her life back home, and she had purposely kept it that way. But now that the distress had officially crossed international lines, she needed to talk to someone.

"What are you doing for lunch today?" Casey asked. Emily beamed; she loved the offer of going out for food almost as much as Casey.

"Why, spending it with you!" she winked as she spun in her chair, her golden blonde hair freely cascading behind her. Casey smiled at Emily's display of her upbeat personality. It was extremely refreshing after the last few days she went through.

"Good!" Casey laughed. "Vagnabono?"

"Oh! Yes, absolutely!" Emily chimed. "Risotto here I come!" Her cheerfulness quickly subsided, though, as she must have noticed Casey's façade slip.

"Case, are you okay?" Emily asked. Casey crossed her arms; a lot of people were asking that lately.

"Lunch," Casey simply replied, giving one last fragmented smile to Emily. She quickly left her office, overwhelming tears threatening to fall. She held her head high as walked over to her office, where she quietly shut the door. The moment she heard the door click, they spilled over, cascading down her cheeks.

"Damn it," she whispered as she quickly wiped them away, worried that traces of mascara may be streaking her face. He was winning. He was working his way into her head, into her dreams, into her reality. He was affecting her in every way possible, overtaking all her senses. She slouched down and buried her head into her arms. She needed to tell him to go.

Game time was over.

#

"Holy shit," was all Emily could say. Casey stabbed at her lettuce after telling Emily the lengthy story, sparing no detail. "That explains a lot."

"What do you mean?" Casey inquired.

"Well, I could never figure out why you never seemed interested in dating anyone. I mean, come on Case, you're hot. Don't deny it. And I know you're modest, but you wanted nothing to do with anyone. Luke threw himself at you for years and you couldn't even see it. Even now guys look you. Hell, they look at Luke with envy because he got you," Emily stated knowingly as she swirled the pieces of rice around her plate.

"But that aside," she continued, "there was always something I picked up on. You always seemed so sad. That's why I tried so hard to push you two together originally," Emily said.

"I remember," she half smiled at the memories out at the bars when Emily would obnoxiously push Luke over to Casey. She dismissed the thought.

"Casey, love is not one size fits all. I know you of all people get that. Derek, the way you described your relationship, it sounds like he was a great love. But, he also sounds like someone who only thinks of himself. Didn't you say he have a girlfriend still? Yet, he's up here playing cat and mouse with you? That's low of him playing with your heart. Luke is completely infatuated by you and obviously loves you. I can see it every time he looks at you."

Emily paused, as if she was choosing her next words carefully. She took a long sip of her iced tea, her blue eyes catching her own. "Casey, if you're having second thoughts about Luke, don't play with his heart. I understand that this is a crappy situation you didn't put yourself in, but you need to get out of it. You need closure."

Casey's ears perked. "Closure?"

"Yeah, closure," Emily repeated. "It sounds like you never got it."

Casey paused. They had argued, he broke up with her, and he told her there was someone else, but that was it. Within two weeks after the breakup her bags were packed and she was applying for a work Visa, thrusting herself into her new work and her new life.

"You're right," she quietly agreed. She picked at her tomato, tossing it off to the side before stabbing her cucumber. "You know, you're good at this stuff."

"Well Casey, after all, I am the messenger of love," Emily laughed with a wink. Casey laughed along with her.

"Emily, please don't say anything to Luke," Casey asked as the laughter subsided. Emily smiled in acknowledgement.

"I won't. Just don't let this guy ruin what you've worked so hard to build here."

"I won't, I promise."

#

Casey took a deep breath as she stood in front of the Westin hotel. She had decided on taking the afternoon off, finding a lot of sense in Emily's words. She needed closure to seal up the wound that was never properly stitched shut. Of course, she knew that no matter what she did, no matter how much time would pass, she would always have a place for him in her heart. But her heart needed to stop aching for him. She needed to let their time be a memory to pleasantly recall when her future children inquire about her first love. Or use him as a shining example on a girl's night out as to what to not do, or what he may have done right. It needed to no longer hurt to see his photograph. She needed to throw away that box of mementos. It was time to truly move on, and unfortunately it meant confronting him about closure.

She walked into the hotel, dressed casually in a pair of olive green skinny jeans and a cream-colored sweater, her heeled boots clicking against the freshly buffed hotel floors. Her look was intentional, making sure she was not in the least dressed up for him. She shivered as she recalled his complement of her in her dress the other night, but quickly dismissed it when she intentionally evoked Luke's _pleasurable_ response when he peeled it off of her that night. Her mouth formed a hard-pressed line when she realized she used both men in her thoughts, a side-by-side of sorts. Swallowing hard, she felt disgusted with herself for allowing her head to get this far. She made her way further into the hotel, walking around to try and locate Derek.

Thirty minutes later and no luck, Casey leaned up against one of the walls and tilted her head back. She knew finding Derek was going to be difficult in the large space. Midway through her search she discovered the skywalk that connected her to the convention center, but they wouldn't let her past without a pass. She looked down at her watch and saw the time was nearing 5 o'clock; surely, they should be dismissing soon? She sighed as she looked out to the darkening skies. November brought early nightfall, and the city buildings began to twinkle in the inky night sky. Shrugging, she decided to make her way over to one of the quieter lounges in the hotel, ordering a glass of wine in hopes to calm her frazzled nerves.

"A glass of pinot, please," she said kindly to the bartender, who smiled and placed a wine glass in front of her. She watched idly as he poured the glass with the chilled wine, filling the glass generously.

"You look like you've had a rough day," he said politely as she handed him her credit card. She nodded.

"And it's about to get longer," she sighed as he took the card.

"Keep it open?" he inquired.

"Please," she replied. Taking the glass, she spun the chair around and looked out into the lobby, watching the variety of people weave amongst one another. She sipped her glass as she watched the range of people walk by, ranging from hotel patrons, to employees, to doctors, to newcomers checking in with their luggage. She sighed for what felt like the millionth time that day as she turned around, placing her empty glass on the bar top. Happily, the bartender returned to fill her drink, and once it was topped off, she went to turn around to resume looking out for Derek. It didn't take much longer, considering once she turned around she saw him walking into the area, a look of surprise etched on his face when their gazes caught one another.

"Casey?' he questioned, abandoning the party she didn't notice he walked in with. "Are you..?" he left the question hanging, letting her finish it.

"Here to see you? Yes," she said quietly, not trusting her voice. She cleared her throat, trying to find the confidence to talk to him. "Do you need to get back to your group?" she asked as she looked over to them, a few males and females politely chatting over what looked like neat whiskey and wine. She returned her gaze back to him, who was adamantly shaking his head.

"No, no," he assured, slipping into the stool next to her. Her breath hitched as she breathed in his scent, the same familiar cologne he used back in their days together. Just a whiff of that scent reminded her of home, but she squashed the reel before it could begin to play again. Her mouth opened to speak, but she noticed that the crowd was beginning to thicken.

"Um, do you mind if we take this somewhere a little more private," she suggested, slightly embarrassed as she knew that meant his hotel room. He looked taken aback, then surprised, and finally intrigued before he made the suggestion.

"We can go to my room. I have a suite," he added, which eased her turmoil as it meant there was a room dividing the bedroom. A space to talk.

She nodded. "Can we go?" He nodded in confirmation. Quickly settling the tab, she followed him through the lobby and up to his room. He was on the highest floor, the club level, and when he opened the door for her, she was amazed at the beauty of the room he was staying in. There was a large living space, complete with sofa, television, and a desk for work, which she noticed his laptop was resting. A corridor appeared to separate the bedroom which also appeared to be a walk-in closet. Her brief impression of the room quickly fled when the door clicked shut; it was time to talk.

"So, you wanted to talk?" he asked softly, his hands stuffed into his suit pockets. He looked nervous, she noticed, as he rocked from his heels to his toes, his eyes looking at her with intrigue. Fighting the smile wanting to break free from the boyish look of him, she took a deep breath.

"Yeah." A few moments passed as she struggled to find the words to start such a conversation, but they weren't coming. She could feel her lips press into her teeth as she fought to stretch a strained smile, hoping it would hold back any tears that she could feel ready to fall over. He never got to see her cry. Sure, he heard it when she called him, begged him to take her back, but he never saw it.

"I'm here to…" she lingered, looking down at her feet. She words in her mouth were so sour, her stomach queasy with emotion. "I'm here to ask you to please, please let me move on." She peeked her gaze through her bangs to watch his reaction, but none came.

"Derek, I don't want to play this game, where you try to 'win me back' and we try to salvage a relationship that died seven years ago. What's the point? You moved on, and I finally, finally began to move on. Hell, I'm getting married. And then you appear. You appear out of the blue, telling me you love me, which is absolutely insane because you don't know anything about me anymore!" she exasperated, watching him, studying him to see what would happen next. Still, nothing came from him, and she pressed on.

"How can you claim to love someone when you were so quick to turn their back on them? So quick to just call me, tell me it's over, and not even entertain any form of contact to let me get any sort of closure. I had to move away. I got an amazing job and buried myself in my work so I wouldn't focus on the immense heartache I was going through for years. Years, Derek. I waited for years for you to call me. To message me online. To do anything, anything to get me back." She could hear her resolve crumbling around her feet, tears threatening the corners of her eyes as she moved on. "So, I am here to finally get what I deserve. I want my closure. I want to tell you how much you hurt me, destroyed me when you cut me out of your life. Three years of friendship and 1 year of love suddenly just ended." The tears began to slip down her cheek. "Why? Why did you do it like that? Why wasn't I worthy enough to have you break up with me in person? You dumped me over the phone when I was trying to move to a different city just to be with you. I still don't get it! Tell me! Tell me, damn it!" Her voice finally gave in to the sadness, strained from bellowing out the questions that lingered in her mind for so long. She watched as he ran a frustrated hand through his hair, the neat, slicked back strands now laying in a messy pile atop his head. His hand eventually landed on his chin, his mouth pressed hard as he nodded his head knowingly.

"There was never anyone else," he finally said.

Her body recoiled, as if she was doused with a bucket of ice water. "What?" she asked hesitantly, convinced she did not hear him right.

"You heard me," he said, hearing the strain in his voice. He looked into her eyes, his midnight orbs stormy with regret and his own buried turmoil. "There was never anyone else, Casey. It was always you."

"Then why?!" she cried out. "Why did you leave me?!"

"Because I was failing, okay!" he shouted, slamming his fist against the wall. "I was failing and I didn't know what to do. I was on thin ice, about to be fired, and I didn't know what else to do. I thought that if I pushed you away, that I focused on the team and training, I could make it work. I could fix it. And then I could fix us. Damn it, I didn't think you'd move away, let alone come to the states and move hours away! I thought I had lost my chance on us, and when I tried looking you up online, I saw you were dating, you know, and I thought I just needed to move on and try and forget you."

"But, your girlfriend?"

He shook his head. "I started dating someone after I heard you left Canada, and even then, it was a year after we broke up. But the girl I had up on my profile? She was a friend of mine. I did that on purpose so you would think I was that asshole I made myself to be, and you wouldn't want anything to do with me."

Her face scrunched into one of pain, her heart squeezing intensely. Of all things for him to say, this was the last one she ever would have expected. He pushed her away to salvage his career. There never was anyone else.

"Why couldn't you tell me?!" she shouted rather than asked. "Why did you have to destroy what we had? I could have helped you! I could have been there for you!" she cried before she covered her mouth, her tears freely falling. Her body was feeling suddenly heavy, the weight of the news crushing her soul. He quickly came to her side and cradled her in a tight embrace, which she leaned in to, her head pressed into his chest. "God damn it Derek, why didn't you love me enough to let me help you?" she cried into his chest. "Instead we're here. We're here."

"I know," he whispered into her hair, his hand gently rubbing her back. "I know."

They continued to stand there, holding one another, the spoken truth marinating. She didn't know whether to keep crying, be angry, rejoice that he never cheated on her, abandon all she built here for his love, or walk away and accept this as the closure. He continued to embrace her, holding her tightly as if he knew this would be the last time the two of them would ever be this close again, and to be honest she didn't know what would happen next. Instead, she decided to stand there those few solemn moments, taking in what would likely be the beginning of the epilogue of this love story.


	7. Chapter 7

She wasn't sure how much time had passed. Hours? Minutes, perhaps? All she knew, was in that moment, this spot was the spot she needed to be.

His arms were a barrier, creating a bubble that allowed her to indulge selfishly as she reminisced the days where she would lay in them for hours. How they held her tightly when they would embrace, how they comforted her when she cried, how they made her feel like the two of them were truly one soul. She was so convinced that this was the only place she ever needed to be, and she knew from the moment they first kissed that this was the last place she ever wanted to be. She greedily took in his scent, the sweet aroma of his cologne entangled with a blend of the scent of fresh laundered clothes and his tea tree shampoo. Her head always fit so perfectly under his chin, as if her short stature was intentional to be the perfect puzzle piece against his generous height. Even now they provided her with what she needed.

She savored the last few moments of his hold, her heart quickening as she began to move. He let go slowly, both individuals regaining their standing position, although closer in distance than before. His body language signaled that he was reluctant to let her go again, but his eyes gave away what he knew was coming.

"Derek-"

"No," he interrupted.

"We can't-"

"No," he stated. His voice was rough, as if he was trying to hold back his own emotions. "I can't."

"We have to, Derek," she pressed softly, enveloping her own arms as she spoke the words.

"No, we don't, Casey," he urged. "We don't have to go our separate ways."

"Derek," she sighed.

"Marry me."

"Derek!" she exclaimed by his bold, uncharacteristic statement. "Don't be absurd!"

"Don't marry him, Casey. Marry me," he stated once again. Her mouth was ajar as he grabbed her hands, pulling her closer to him. Her nerves were sparked, not sure how to respond to such a reaction from him. Sure, they briefly talked about marriage and kids when they dated, but they never had actually discussed a timeline of marriage or kids. It was one of those things that was implied would eventually happen when school and careers were in place. Sure, she had daydreamed about it when she thought she was moving up to be with him, but that was the furthest the topic ever got.

"No," she said once she finally found her voice. "You're being ridiculous now, Derek."

"I'm being serious," he countered. "We're the ones who are supposed to be getting married, not you and that other guy."

She scoffed. "Well, Derek, if you didn't go ahead and dump me, this conversation probably wouldn't be happening, would it?" she retorted, angered by his foolishness. "Do you really think proposing marriage is going to fix everything?"

"Of course not," he responded, "but we will be together again. We can work our troubles out as one. We can even start over again, if that's what you wanted. It would be this new, exciting adventure that we never imagined we would be on."

"For someone who is so smart, you sure are acting really dumb," Casey said as she crossed her arms again. "You can't just thrust us into this unknown territory. For Christ sake, Derek, we don't live in the London anymore. We are in different states!"

"I can transfer teams," he said, "or you can transfer out there. We can do this. We can." He grabbed her hands once more, standing closely, his eyes connecting with hers. "I know what I am saying sounds extremely ridiculous. Even hearing the words come out of my mouth I feel like a fool. But I would rather sound like an idiot than let you walk out that door not knowing how much I want you back in my life, and I will do anything to be a part of your world again. Nothing feels right without you. I don't know how the days even turned into years. Even seven years later, seeing you, holding your hand, I feel like that guy from years back who was memorized by his neighbor." Her breath hitched as one of his hands let go of her, quickly moving to her cheek. He gently stroked his thumb against her as she fought to control her breath, intimidated, but feeling intoxicated in the intimacy of the closeness between them. Goosebumps were spreading like wildfire as he stepped in closer, leaning down to bring her forehead in against his. "I would give anything to be that guy again," he whispered as his hand made its way into her hair, attempting to close the minimal gap that was between them.

The hourglass dropped, pearls of sand exploding around her as her eyes fluttered shut. His lips captured hers, catapulting her back into the days where life was more simple, back to where she was the love-struck girl, where all that mattered was building a future together. All the years of school, planning, and days apart was part of this master grand plan to spend eternity together. As he deepened the kiss, she began to fade into the recollections, entangled in the network of youthful dreams of a once powerful love story. While his hands roamed her body, she felt herself weaving the web of her favorite memories with him. He was the voice who encouraged her when she struggled in school. He was the one who took care of her when she drank too much one evening to try and prove she wasn't just a high school girl amongst a group of popular. He was the one she gave her whole being to under the star speckled sky that warm summer night after graduation.

His hands continued their decent up and down her curves, her body gasping in response as he pressed harder in to her. She pressed her hands against his chest, the feeling of his firm muscles beneath his shirt provoking her hands to run them against him. They itched to slip beneath the fabric barrier, to touch him intimately as his own hands plunged into her hair, somehow pulling her even closer to him. Taking advantage of the situation, she wrapped her arms around his neck, using his body for balance as she felt her knees weaken at the ferocity of their kiss. He took this invitation to hoist her on the desk conveniently behind them, items toppling over as he positioned himself between her legs and kissed her neck.

She gasped, startled but turned on from the bold response, gasping for air as he placed hungry kisses down her neck. His hands slipped underneath her sweater, her insistence on wearing such a garment clearly forgotten, and lost herself to his familiar touch. In response, she fumbled with the buttons of his dress shirt, insistent on feeling his firm muscles against her hand. She was eventually rewarded with success, his body more defined than she recalled as her hands greedily roamed his abdomen, slipping around to his back and grabbing on to his broad shoulders. He groaned at her touch, resulting in her throwing her head back, completely lost in the passion. Never had he invoked such a feeling of desire over her. Never had she wanted him so badly. In the distance, she could hear music singing, beckoning her to come back to reality, and for a moment she thought of ignoring it. But as the gentle tones emitting through the room beckoned her, the fantasy shattered. Her eyes opened, the actuality of what she was doing prevalent.

She pressed her hands softly against his chest and broke their kiss gently, their labored breathing the only sound in the room. He went to kiss her again, but she bowed her head down, rejecting his advance. Her eyes studied him quickly, drinking in the man who stood in front of her, declaring his love, showing his affection, willing to make her his world. She smacked her moistened lips, still tingling from his intense kiss, as she fought to find her voice.

"Casey?" he asked puzzled, his mind clearly warped from their intense make out session.

"I can't do this," she whispered, slipping off of the desk. She moved to the other side of the room, making sure to put ample space of distance between them. "I can't do this," she repeated.

"But-"

"No," she said a little more firmly. She winced as she looked at him, disheveled and unbuttoned by her own hands. The melody one again skimmed the air between them, to which Casey's eyes welled up to. She snatched her phone out of her purse, answering it in a hushed tone.

"Hi," she responded as she answered the phone.

"Hey babe, everything okay? You didn't come to work this afternoon. Did you have an appointment or something?" Luke asked kindly, clearly worried about her whereabouts.

"Uhm, yeah, it's wrapping up now. Can I call you back?"

"Of course. Is everything okay?" he inquired again, her heart breaking at the sincerity in his voice.

"Yes. Call you back." She ceased conversation, pressing the end button multiple times until her phone background glowed in her face. It was a cheesy photo, Casey and Luke looking out at Niagara Falls in their matching Blue Jays jerseys on the day that he decided to take her on one of the boats that went under the falls. As the memory surfaced, she recalled the pure joy she had with Luke on that boat, laughing like a child as he was doused with water from the falls that the poncho did little to protect. He pulled her in and gave her a bear hug, effectively drenching her, while their friends laughed at the hilarity of the scene. It was that day she knew that Luke was more than just a guy she was dating. He brought out the best in her, never asking for anything but her loyalty and love.

Suddenly she felt a wave of nausea come over her, facing the actions that she just willingly participated in. How disgusting was she that she actually let Derek touch her like that, and how terrible of a person was she that, as a soon-to-be married woman, let him? No longer did the moment of passion feel like two lovers separated for so long finally reuniting in a powerful way, but rather felt like the act of immature betrayal.

"Don't go there, Casey," he pleaded, clearly watching her as she registered what was going on. Her body recoiled from his voice, shrinking downward to the floor in acceptance of the betrayal she had just committed. "Casey, please, don't," he further pleaded, but his voice began to fade off. Instead, she stared at the phone as tears dripped onto the screen, mad at herself for letting it get so far.

"I have to go," she stammered as she hastily reached for the doorway, unable to face Derek. "I have to get out of here. Now." She reached for her bag, but gravity defied her as the items toppled all over the table. Crying out, she dropped to the floor and sloppily tried pulling all the items into the bag, but he was by her side before she could grab everything. He cupped her cheek, and the dam broke. Her emotions catapulted into overdrive, she broke into heaving sobs, crying for her infidelity, the lies, the deceit, the situation, and everything in between.

"Don't touch me," she whispered between cries, to which he quickly dislodged his hand from her face. She felt like dirt; worse, actually. Not only had she cheated on Luke and showed Derek that he still had some kind of hold over her, but she wasn't strong. She didn't have the voice to say no. She was weak, pathetic, and ashamed.

On shaking legs, she stood up, intent on leaving. She took a timid step toward the door, but was halted when Derek quickly stood up and made his way to the door as well.

"I need to go," she said once more, unable to face him as he looked at her. She could only imagine what he was thinking, a now timid and confused girl standing where a proud and sure woman once stood. She swallowed hard, the transition frightening her. Instead of a retort, she heard him pull at the door handle, the clicking of the door separating from the frame filling the void for words. Her breath exhaled, eager to get out of the suffocating situation, but before she could get one foot out the door, he spoke.

"If you want to walk out of here and pretend like nothing happened in here, then go," he murmured. She winced, wanting nothing more than to pretend that this moment was all a bad dream. "I didn't come up here to ruin your life. All I wanted was to be back in it. So, if you want to choose him, then choose him. It's because of me that you're with him. But when you go home and lay your head down at night and fade off to sleep, do me a favor and think who do you really want to be spending your nights next to. If it's him, then I will leave you alone. But if it's me…" he trailed off, his voice glimmering with the slightest hope. "I leave tomorrow night. Hopefully I will see you before then." With that, he opened the door wider, granting her the exit. Taking in a deep breath, she stepped out, keeping her eyes downcast as she made her way down the hallway, fully knowing he was watching her as she walked further away. With each step, she could feel her head pounding, not fully knowing what she wanted to do.

 _"Think who do you really want to be spending your nights next to."_

She shuddered as she hastily pressed the elevator button.

She wasn't so sure anymore.

#

Casey was never so happy to see her apartment as she was in that moment. Practically falling out of her cab, she made her way up her stairwell and into her home. She was greeted by the sight of unpacked boxes and household items askew, the task of packing completely forgotten with the mishaps of the week. She grimaced; it would take days to get this place ready to go, and she only had 48 hours.

Plopping down on her couch, she curled in to a ball, dropping her head onto her knees. Mishap wasn't the right word for what the week brought; disaster was more like it. She felt like her entire world was turned upside down. One moment she was seeking closure, the next she was wrapped up in his kisses. Had Luke not called... she shook her head, not letting her mind take her down that path. They may have kissed, and they may have touched, but nothing beyond that had happened. She was silently thankful that the phone rang before that thought even reached the table.

Truthfully, she was surprised that she even heard the phone ringing. Her head was so caught up in the moment, surely that had to be a sign of Luke's importance in her life, right? But the way that Derek made her feel, the responses he invoked, it made her toes curl. Luke was an amazing and talented man, and she was thoroughly satisfied with him, but Derek… it was an entirely different feeling. She didn't quite know how to put her finger on it. Her body felt on fire, safe to say. But was it overhyped because of their past, or was it because of his skill? She grimaced, hating herself for thinking these thoughts, but she was completely confused now. She loved Luke, but she loved Derek, too. Right?

Groaning, she threw her head back, but was quickly redirected to the sound of her phone ringing. Emily's name glistened across the screen, to which she answered.

"Hey girl! So, last minute, but I was thinking we need to go out tonight. I know we have work tomorrow, but when do we ever go out anymore?" Emily casually suggested. Casey briefly pondered the invitation.

"Fuck it, yes, let's go. Where to?" Casey asked. Having one hell of an intoxicated night sounded like the perfect way to get both men out of her head.

"Drex over on Pointe. $20 cover, but it's ladies' night, so $4 long island iced teas!" Emily squealed in response to Casey's acceptance.

"Awesome. Anyone else coming?" Casey asked, looking at her watch. It was a little after 7, so if she spent 20 minutes packing, showered and arrived by 9, she could have herself a great night and still be home at a decent hour to go to work tomorrow morning.

"The usual. Jason, Ryan, Bre, and Luke," Emily said.

"Luke?" Casey asked, her stomach suddenly queasy again. She didn't know if she could face him so soon after what had just happened.

"I left him a voicemail, but I think he had a dinner tonight with the JA board? I know that's why Ryan couldn't come righter after work when Bre and I talked earlier," she replied, much to Casey's breath of relief.

"Yeah, that's right. Ok, so let me get ready. What are you wearing?" Casey inquired, determining whether to go fully dressed up or crop top and leggings. The distraction was a pleasant one.

"Oh my God, just you wait. I found this dress I just had to have. Eeek! Jason is going to be so mad when he sees me in public it's that great!" Emily exclaimed loudly. Casey laughed.

"Ok. I'll be there around 9 then. See you soon!" The girls exchanged their goodbyes, the cell phone now idly on the couch. Taking in a deep breath, she stood up and looked around. Should she pack while her mind was all messed up? She shook her head, discarding the fleeting thought, as she began to package up some of her pillows and blankets. In 15 minutes, she would head in for a shower, but for now, her life was going to move forward as planned.


	8. Chapter 8

Casey walked into Drex, her gold clutch in hand, and smiled. It had been ages since she came out to a club, and this particular club was one that did not disappoint. Unlike her earlier clubbing years in Toronto, where it was basically a bar and a dance floor, this place was a posh establishment. Of course, there still was a bar and a dance floor on the first floor, but there was a second floor that had VIP tables and private booths for parties that wrapped around the dance floor. You could sit down and have conversation with friends while watching what was happening on the dance floor. The cover was high enough to keep younger kids out, so it hardly got to the point of max occupancy. However, there seemed to be a decent crowd tonight. Slipping off her coat, she passed it over to the woman at the coat check and adjusted her outfit. She had opted to wear a black leotard that had a bunch of daring cuts, including a large scoop in both of her sides. She paired it with the palest pink of skirts, which ended maybe two inches below her bottom. Her hair was curled, falling in loose twists around her face, which was decorated with charcoal eyeliner and a pale pink lipstick. Her wrists donned various gold bangles, which matched her caged heels in color. After a rough night, Casey felt like she needed to dress up for herself, and that meant going all out. Once she saw the finished product in her mirror, she felt extremely confident.

Making her way through the crowd, she didn't locate anyone she recognized on the first floor at the random barstools. Shrugging her shoulders, she made her way upstairs, grinning when she saw Emily. She did not lie; her dress was one hell of a dress. It was solid orange, but it barely had any fabric to it. In fact, it seemed that the only fabric was across her breast, a crisscross over her abdomen, and a skirt that ended right at her bottom. No matter what outfit, Casey mentally praised, Emily had the body to pull it off. She looked like she walked out of a catalogue, the dress accentuated by a pair of gold stilettos and a large cuff bracelet around her wrist. She laughed as she made her way over to the group, her boyfriend Jason clearly unhappy with how little she was wearing by the way his arm was wrapped possessively around her waist. Once she reached her group, she exchanged hellos with her friends before putting her bag down. They had an alcove booth, which was perched up on a riser, that had grape colored lights embedded in the floorboard and around the table. A bucket of vodka, tequila, and rum were on one side while a handful of mixers were off to the side.

"What's all this?" Casey gestured to the bottles of liquor. Emily tossed wink over at Casey.

"Geoffrey downstairs hooked us up with the VIP treatment, didn't he baby?" she purred as she kissed Jason's cheek, who grimaced once more.

"Yeah, because he couldn't stop staring at your tits," he coolly stated before taking a shot of tequila. Emily waved her hand at his demeanor.

"Yeah, whatever. But anyway, we've got a ton of drinks, long islands are $4, and I think DJ Kahlia is spinning at 10. We picked a hell of a night to go out!" Emily declared triumphantly.

"DJ Kahlia? She's AMAZING!" Casey replied with enthusiasm before slipping into the booth next to Bre.

"Holy shit, Sere, that is one hell of an outfit! I don't think I've seen you in something like this in years!" Bre exclaimed. "I freaking love it!"

Casey felt bashful for a moment, but decided to own her confidence and her outfit. "Thanks! I decided that since it was ladies' night here, I would take advantage of being a single lady here at the club tonight, since I don't have a man here with me," she winked. Bre laughed.

"Luke is going to be so pissed he missed this!" Bre laughed. Casey's smile strained slightly, but she kept with the dialogue.

"Yeah, well," she trailed, not wanting to think about the situation at that moment. Shrugging, she reached for the bottle of tequila and poured herself a shot, tossing it back quickly. The group cheered, resulting in the remainder of them pouring and tossing back their own shots. A few minutes later, Casey looked to her friends. "I'm hitting the bar. Long islands for $4? How can I pass that up? Anyone down?" she looked at her group before getting back up. "I'll be back!"

Weaving her way through the thickening crowd, she made her way up to the bar and quickly threw $20 on the bar top. Within a moment, a bartender was right in front of her, asking her for her drink order.

"I want three shooters, something strong but sweet. What can you make for me?"

He grinned; "I've got just the shot for you." Grabbing a variety of different bottles, he began pouring different liquors into the metallic shaker. He threw what appeared to be a dash of cranberry juice in there before shaking it together. She watched as he poured the palest pink drinks into three glass shot glasses, placing them in front of her before taking her cash. Before he could turn around, she took them, one by one, within a matter of seconds between each.

"Damn girl," he said as he stared in fascination, his eyes wide. "You must be having one hell of a night."

"Indeed," she said, reeling from the strength of the drink. "You make a mean shot. Thank you."

Shaking his head, still impressed, he dumped the last of the contents of the shaker into one of the used glasses and a clean one. "Here's to not remembering," he saluted to her, to which she raised hers and clanked glasses with him.

"Salute!" she cheered, taking the potent drink back. She was already feeling the effects, and when she heard the DJ begin to start her set, she sloppily jogged back to the table.

"Come on girls, let's go!" she urged, all but yanking Bre out of the bar.

"Hell yes!" she cheered, Emily and Bre following behind them with a wiggle in their step. "Watch our stuff guys!" she hollered to the men, who rolled their eyes as they continued to talk. The girls walked down the carpeted stairwell and right on to the dance floor, taking each other's hands and dancing happily along each other. After a few laughs their hands disentangled, allowing them to begin to sway their own bodies to the music.

Casey tossed her head back, letting the music fill her soul as she danced. The alcohol, however, did not stop her from thinking about her situation. Derek. Luke. Both men clouded her vision, each of them tantalizing her in her mind as she moved her body to the beat. Her head was screaming at her, telling her how awful she was being. Her conscious was reprimanding her, telling her that Luke has been nothing but kind and loyal, and he deserved nothing but the best from her. And it was true; Luke was the best. He was amazing, sweet, dedicated, and he truly loved her. But he wasn't Derek. He wasn't.

Derek. Her heart thumped like crazy as she thought of him, his smoky eyes looking at her like he could see her soul. His touch sent ripples of desire throughout her system, and that was just with the brush of his fingertips against her skin. Bringing her hands to the side of her face, she imagined that Derek was touching her, gliding her own fingers along her cheek and neck. She felt like she was on fire, imaging that he was here in front of her, dancing for him. With every deep breath, goosebumps rose, making her sexuality heightened even more than she was in the hotel room earlier. Her moral compass was spinning like crazy, unable to stop, on the verge of exploding into a forbidden place she never once thought she would go. Always the good girl. The loyal friend. The safe choice. Right now, the needle was telling her to listen. Just… listen.

#

Sitting in the back of the cab, Luke sighed as he looked at the clock on his phone. It was well after 10, and he was dead tired, but part of him wanted to suck it up and go out to the club with his friends. It had been way too long since everyone got together, especially on a Thursday night.

Fighting a yawn, he understood why Ryan decided just to go home rather than try and go out for an hour or two. He really wanted to just tell the driver to cancel and take him home, but he really wanted to see if Casey came out, too.

He frowned; she had been acting a little off this past week. The week began with her being extremely excited, considering in two days they would finally be living together, but the past few days she looked deeply concerned, stuck in thought. He tried being his normal self and hope she would tell him what was on her mind, but so far, nothing.

At first, he contributed it to nerves about moving in. It had taken him a year to finally convince her to move in with him. She was attached to her apartment, and he understood that, but when their engagement happened he hoped that she would be excited to move in. And she had seemed to be, so he thought. He noticed how she hadn't mentioned anything about moving in together at all this week and it worried him slightly. What if she wasn't happy?

He shook his head; they were happy. The engagement was still fresh, they were about to move in, and, well, she lit up his world. He knew that he was a lucky man to be with her, and he worked hard to be the man that he knew she deserved. It was obvious that someone before him hurt her deeply, no matter how much she refused to talk about it. He loved her enough to see straight through that mask, and was thrilled as he watched that mask dissolve as their relationship evolved.

But why was she acting so… lost in thought? Unavailable? At work, on the phone, she had barely exchanged conversation with him after her dinner the other night. Was she mad that he almost wasn't able to come? He shook his head; no, she certainly didn't seem upset, nor would that upset her. He knew that she understood the importance of their careers; she certainly had her fair share of dinners she attended as well.

Sighing, he took his phone out and numbly scrolled through his phone, landing on Facebook. He saw that Bre had tagged a photo of her and Emily; he smiled briefly and almost began to scroll through, but saw something catch his eye. At first, he was surprised, and then quite pleased, to see Casey had made it out, and dressed to kill. But what caught his attention more was that even though she was dancing, her expression looked preoccupied. Enlarging the picture, he zoomed in past Bre's head to see Casey's face. It was a look he had never seen before; sad, scared, unsure.

Casey was the strongest woman in the world, at least to him. She was career focused, smart, relocated and took on a new city at 18, and balanced work, school, and friends at the same time. She was always so confident, so sure of herself. It was the quality he admired most about her. For something to trouble her this deeply that it was affecting her in one of her favorite things to do - dance with her friends - it had to be serious. Worry spread through his veins; he had no idea what it was that was weighing on her mind, but in that look, he knew she needed answers.

Suddenly, he felt he had to get to that club as soon as possible.

#

He didn't know why he bothered to come out tonight. His mind and thoughts were stuck in a whole different dimension, one that alcohol would not help the situation with. But his friend Andrew, who was also played for the Rangers, practically begged him to come out and be his wingman. They came out with a group of people Andrew met in one of the pre-game parties; apparently a pretty brunette asked him to join them. It was obvious that they picked a terrible place, though; everyone was still dressed business casual amongst a crowd dressed rather provocatively. Clearly, they had assumed this place was more of a posh establishment rather than a nightclub. The group seemed to be having fun, and Andrew appeared to be making conversation with the brunette - Kelly, if he recalled correctly. It was nice to watch them interact.

Watching them, however, reminded him of his current predicament. He felt like an asshole. Seven years. Seven years it took him to finally seek her out and try and fix things. Of course, she would be moving on, getting married. If only she had let him walk out the door that first night. If only she didn't touch him, kiss him, maybe, just maybe, he could have ignored her the past week. But seeing her, touching her, kissing her, it brought back a flood of memories of days where life was a lot simpler.

Casey was a good girlfriend. The best, actually. She was his cheerleader, his support, and she loved him with everything she had. But he was selfish, threw it all away when he decided he needed to spread his wings and move away. The worst of it all was that when he told her he was moving, she let him, no questions asked. She asked nothing in return except what was so perfectly natural: to move back in together when she moved to the states. And rather than be a mature adult and move back in with his girlfriend, who worked so hard to be with him, he acted like a coward.

His immaturity towards the situation still haunted him. He would never let her know, but he knew about the important details in her life. He knew she was successful in Boston, finished top of her class, was in a serious relationship. He knew that she was happy with her new life. But when he saw her again and the look on her face when she called him out for his actions, he couldn't resist.

Derek sighed as he pulled his phone out of his pocket, the vibrating device startling him out of his thoughts. Robin had been trying to call him all week, but he didn't have the heart to answer it. Like Casey, she was a great girlfriend. She was a doctor, a surgeon in fact. They had met when he began physical training, and although they were friends for a few years, it eventually led into something more. Robin was brilliant, smarter than himself he daresay. She was a year older than Derek, and naturally after three years of dating, was ready to settle down. They continuously fought over the same topic: moving in together. She couldn't figure out why he wouldn't take the one step that made perfect sense, considering they always slept over one of their apartments.

When this opportunity to visit Boston came up, he jumped at it. He had to see her. He had to know she was happy and had completely moved on from him so he didn't feel so guilty letting Robin do what Casey wanted more than anything. But once he saw her, he couldn't help but feel like that guy again. Casey was like a lantern in a cave, a glimmer of sunshine in the darkest of days. Suddenly he was spewing declarations he didn't know he had inside of him. Robin, his apartment, his job, his city didn't matter, just all things Casey.

He wanted to talk to her the night she ducked him. He wanted to apologize for saying such things, and that he really wanted to see how she was doing, as a friend. But she avoided him, and he fell right back in to old habits. Then he saw her in his hotel, and boy, his heart skipped a beat or two. Stunning didn't even measure up to how beautiful she looked. But then he saw him, the fiancé. He felt possessive, furious, and angry. The way he touched her, the way she smiled at him, it drove him mad. After he watched them at the bar for a little bit, he had decided he wouldn't seek her out anymore. He would go home, live the life he was building, and forget about her.

But then she seeked him out.

And he couldn't help but let himself react.

What was it about her? That kiss they shared was a blast from the past. He felt like he was 18 again. No worries about careers, or bills, or marriage, or children. It was about two adults in love.

Derek sighed. He knew what was driving this insane attraction to Casey. It was all about the past. He had no idea about her life right now. He knew she worked, but what did she do for fun? Who were her friends? Does she even talk to that weird girl from back home anymore?

He thought back to his preposterous, outrageous proposal. What if she had said yes?

He closed his eyes; he knew if she said yes, he would have ran off with her in that moment.

He opened his eyes and blinked. Two, three times. There was no way. Of all the places in this ridiculously large city, how on earth did he wind up not twenty feet away from her? And what on earth was she wearing? He groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose, and turned away from her. She would go conniptions if she knew he was here. He watched discretely as she leaned on the bar to order a drink, the skirt riding even higher on her sculpted thigh. He pressed his mouth into a firm line, trying not to let her body penetrate the first cohesive thoughts he had about the situation. He forced himself to look off into the distance, away from her, until she left the bar with two mixed drinks. Letting out a sigh of relief, he made his way back to his group, but continued to watch over her.

#

"Girl, I haven't seen you drink like this since your promotion," Bre said as she laughed into her long island.

"I know! Let me get that stick outta my ass. Wait, wait," she said as she mockingly pulled an imaginary rod out of her backside. "Hold this for me, 'kay?" she giggled.

"CASE!" Emily squealed. "There's no stick up there! Yer just a girl in the world whose kickin' ASS!"

"HELL YES!" Bre and Jason chimed, each of them successfully drunk.

"A round of waters," Jason said to the waiter, who nodded his head.

"JAS!" Emily shrieked in disapproval. "DON'T snow on this parade you, you parade snowman!"

"Isn't it _rain_ on the parade, Em?" he asked with a devilish smile, to which she playfully smacked him.

"Potato, Tomato. Come on girls, let's go back out there!"

"Yeah!" Casey and Bre cheered as they walked back out onto the crowded dance floor. They continued to dance with each other, spinning around and shaking their hips to the song. They hung out for a bit, Bre breaking off to go get another drink, Emily and Jason sort of dancing with one another, leaving Casey in her own little bubble. She threw her hands above her head, twisting and turning, enjoying the sensation of dancing, when she felt a pair of hands glide onto her hips. She ceased her dancing, wondering who would be behind her. Twisting her neck, a bit, she saw a tall, scruffy blonde man in a baggy polo shirt. She moved away from him, hoping he would get the message, but he moved closer on to her. Turning around, she shouted "no thanks," but he continued to try and grab her.

"Knock it off!" she shouted to him. He was obviously drunk by the way he stumbled, his eyes focused on her chest rather than listening to what she had to say. When he moved closer in again, she shoved at him. "Leave me alone!" Her cries didn't seem to carry over the loud music, and he took her shove as a means to get her closer, grabbing her backside and pulling her in again.

"Stop it! Help!" she cried.

#

"Holy shit, Bre, what did you give her?!" Luke asked as he sat down at the table, thoroughly enjoying the performance Casey was putting on. Bre giggled and hiccupped, holding a glass of water.

"Long islands? And I think she was doing shots. Cuz I was. And she was. And," she blabbed, sipping her water through a straw.

He shook his head with a smile; it had been quite some time since Casey had cut back like that. Whatever was weighing on her mind, it certainly didn't appear to be out there. He sat down and watched her, mesmerized by her fluid dance moves along with the electronic beat. Seeing her out there made him glad he had come, but he couldn't help but still feel concerned. Obviously, what was bothering her caused her to cut loose.

Reaching for a glass, he poured himself a glass of vodka and cranberry before turning his attention back onto the dance floor. He flew out of his seat, Casey in the arms of another man, and fighting him off about it. Twisting to take a step, he noted that another guy intervened. He would make sure to buy that man a glass of whatever he wanted when he got down there. But right now, he had to make sure she was okay.

#

He didn't like the way that man was watching her. The blonde had his eyes set on her for a few minutes now, and when her two friends seemed to go off into their own world, it was obvious that he had targeted her.

Derek made his way toward the stairwell, keeping his eyes focused on the dance floor. The blonde was closing in on her, and he could tell in her state that she was not aware of his presence. Making his way down the stairs, he planned to step out on the floor and lure the blonde away from her and stay out of sight. Unfortunately, he did not make it down in time, and when he reached the bottom of the stairwell, she was pushing him off of her. A rage evoked him, seeing her struggling in the arms of the man's unwanted advances. Walking in great stride, he walked directly over to the drunk fool and shoved him off of her, allowing his arms to dislodge her. She stumbled back, Derek quickly catching her before she fell, the heels doing nothing for helping her catch her balance.

"Stay the hell away from her," he commanded. The blonde blinked a few times, his lip curled in irritation, before shrugging and walking off. Casey was balanced in his arms, and while it took him a few moments to willingly let her go, she began to push off.

"Derek!" she shrieked, the previous encounter clearly forgotten. "You've got to be freaking kidding me right now!" she stammered, storming off of the dancefloor and over by the tables. Frowning, he quickly followed after her. He had to let her know this was an honest coincidence, he was not following her or stalking her. He knew she needed space and the last thing he wanted to do was jeopardize the small chance of hope he had.

"Casey, I swear to God, this is one huge coincidence. I'm here with my friends upstairs. My buddy Andrew asked me to come. I didn't know you would be here, I swear!" he said as he approached her. She shook her head in disbelief. "I swear to God it's the truth!"

"Damn it, Derek!" she cried, pinching the bridge of her nose before running her hands under her eyes.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry! But I was not going to sit back and let that guy assault you out there! I know you don't want to see me, but damn it Casey, I love you too much to let you get attacked by some loser and not do anything about it," he declared loudly, slamming his fist onto the table.

Her expression softened a bit, as if she was processing what he had just said. "I know," she eventually said softly. "I just never expected to see-"

"Casey?" a voice interrupted them, causing her eyes to shift with a gasp to follow. Derek closed his eyes; best guess: her fiancé was right behind him.


	9. Chapter 9

Luke walked out of the nightclub as quickly as his legs could carry him. He would text Jason to bring his jacket to work tomorrow, but right now he needed to get out of here. What he just heard, who he just saw; if he stood in front of them any longer, he would have reacted in a way that was completely out of his element. Although, it probably would have been justified.

He was just about to interject and shake the man's hand when he heard it. He heard this jackass tell _his_ fiancée that he loved her. He didn't know what was worse: the declaration, or Casey's passive face to the statement. Part of him wanted to continue to eavesdrop, but he intervened before he could hear her reply to it. He didn't want to hear the words that she was choosing at that moment.

She looked shocked, and guilty, when she saw him. "Luke," she had stammered out before shouting "it's not what it looks like, I swear." Her eyes were shifty; her words were carefully chosen. And when she introduced the man in front of her as a guy she knew from back home, he nearly came unglued when that guy turned around to go along with the story.

Luke wasn't stupid. When they began dating he quickly picked up on her hesitancy to do a lot of things that couples do, from introducing him to her parents to even holding hands in public. She had said she had a relationship end badly, but never divulged. It wasn't until a year into their relationship when he went to spend the night at her dorm room did he finally learn who the mystery ex ever was. She had gotten food poisoning and was throwing up, her duvet cover covered in vomit. He searched around for a quilt or a blanket, finally finding one on the top shelf in her closet. He yanked the blanket out, and with it a shoebox dropped to the floor. Once he covered her up with the quilt, he went to pick up the items that he had accidentally dropped. Amongst those contents were pictures of her in her late teens with another guy. Tons of romantic photos, including ones of him kissing her, the two of them holding boxes, presumably moving into an apartment, holding each other on her graduation day, and dozens more. Pieces of cheap jewelry and other trinkets were in the box, and he couldn't help but thumb through it all. He suddenly felt insecure; for her to still keep this box, he must have really meant something to her. The thought that he might be a replacement for him crossed his mind, but he quickly dismissed it. Casey was too kind of a person to do something like that. At least, that's what he thought back then.

He never approached her about the box. As their relationship evolved more, he assumed she would eventually get rid of it. But one night when they were out drinking with their friends, and she had one too many glasses of wine, the girls were babbling about bad exes. The name "Derek Venturi" came up and a sputter about how that was more important to him than her. He recalled from the brief exchanges about their exes that his name was Derek, so when he got home that evening, he went online and searched for him. One in the same, he saw that he was hot shot hockey player for the New York Rangers just a few hours away from them. His insecurities were brimming again, noting that he was not only a famous hockey player, but he unfortunately wasn't the world's worst looking guy. However, from clicking around on his profile, he saw he was in a relationship with a girl who lived in the same city. From the looks of it, they had been together for a while. Satisfied that this ex was just a thing of the past, he exited out of his browser. He concluded that this guy, who might have been smart enough to have dated Casey in the past, was a giant moron for letting Casey go. He also categorized him as a giant asshole for hurting her enough that she was hesitant to do what he presumed she did with him. But had he not broken up with her, who knows if she would have come to Boston, or if he ever would have met her? So, in the grand spectrum of things, this guy's worst decision was the best thing that ever happened to Luke.

So, when Derek turned to face Luke, he knew exactly who he was. He could only imagine what that guy was saying to Casey, and knowing her heart was already fragile from this jackass, he couldn't imagine how she was handling it. But even so, Casey was his fiancée. They had been together for years now. They were getting married and moving in with each other. So why did she look so conflicted? What struggle should there be?

"You're the ex-boyfriend, aren't you?" Luke said once Derek turned to face him. Both parties were taken aback, but he wasn't going to back down. The phrase "I love you" kept swirling in his mind. This guy didn't get to tell Casey he loved her; not anymore. This guy had broken her heart. Her heart was Luke's now.

"Care to tell me what you're doing here with my fiancée?" he asked, his arms crossed.

"Luke, it was an honest coincidence, I swear," she said, her eyes still widened by the confrontation.

"Really, Casey?" he asked with narrowed eyes. "Because from what I just heard, it's suddenly explaining your behavior all week long." Internally, Luke grimaced. The dots were slowly starting to connect. Her moods were up and down, her rejection the other morning, and her wandering mind all started to make sense. Had this guy come up trying to sway her to come back to him? Was she seriously considering being with him after everything he had done to her?

"Luke," she said, trailing off. Her eyes gave it all away. There was a sadness, a confusion in them as she looked at him. Before she could say anything else, he turned and walked away. He could feel his own heart breaking. He had made Casey number one in his life. But the way she had looked at her ex the moment before he interrupted her, he realized it was one he had never seen before.

As he burst through the door and slipped into the cab, Luke could hear her calling after him, but he chose to ignore it. He told the cab the address, then sat back as he processed what he just saw, and the revelation he just experienced.

It was obvious that she still had feelings for him.

#

"Luke! Luke!" she cried as she ran after him as quickly as her heels would take her. He wasn't supposed to see that. He wasn't supposed to know anything. Clearly, he picked up on her turmoil this week, and now he knew the reason why.

She threw the door to the club open, not even bothered by the chilled November air on her bare arms. "Luke!" she cried again, looking around for him amongst the smokers and the lingering patrons. In the distance, she saw a cab driving away. Her heart sank; she knew he was in that cab. She covered her mouth and closed her eyes, shaking her head in disbelief. She had to fix this. Quickly going back inside, she breezed through the hallway and toward the stairwell, but when she saw Derek make his way toward her, she stopped.

"Casey, I am so-" he started, but in her state of shock, she opted to slap him across the face.

"This is exactly why I told you to leave me alone Monday," she coldly stated. "He doesn't deserve this, Derek. He doesn't deserve for me to be unsure of my future with him." Derek looked at her, his hand cupping where she just slapped him. Had it been any other time she would have felt bad, but she just watched the one person who was always there for her with her walk away. Any time they had an argument, a disagreement, any sort of issue they needed to dispel, he was always patient and understanding. He always thought rationally and never, ever walked away. For him to leave without her having any chance to explain herself, she knew she had hurt him.

He nodded. "You're right," he agreed. Not wanting to hear anything else from him, she continued on her mission to grab her clutch. She quickly ascended the stairwell and back to her table, retrieving her purse. She quickly dug for her coat check ticket, not bothering to answer the questions from her friends as to what was going on.

"I'll see you guys tomorrow," she quickly said before she dismissed herself, hearing soft goodbyes as she walked away in haste. Running down the stairs and back to the coat check, she quickly noted that Derek was no longer in the vicinity. Retrieving her coat, she ran outside and hailed a cab, instructing it to take her over to Luke's townhouse. The drive seemed to take forever, but she eventually made it to the complex. Once she paid the driver, she flung the door open and ran up to the front door, knocking against the large, navy panels. When no answer came, she knocked again before noting that she had a key to his place. Sliding the key into the lock, she opened the door, only to be greeted by the foyer light being on.

"Luke?" she called out, floating between the various rooms, finally ending in the bedroom before concluding he was not here. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she dropped her head into her hands and began to cry. After everything all week long, all the confusion, the turmoil, the questions, the moments, she never imagined how she would feel if Luke ever discovered what was going on. He didn't even know everything and she still felt terrible. She wanted nothing more than for Luke to walk through that door so she could apologize, but as time passed, he still didn't come.

She shucked off her club outfit and threw on her sweats, hoping that the task would make enough time pass for him to come home. Even after taking off her makeup, he still wasn't here. Her heart continued to sink, wondering where he would have gone. Did he go to a bar? Did he go to a friends? She made her way downstairs where she walked over to the table, opened her bag and pulled out her phone. She frowned when she saw that no missed calls or texts were on her locked screen. Quickly unlocking it, she clicked on the phone app and scrolled to dial Luke's number, but she hovered over it in hesitation. What was she going to say to him?

Clicking on the button, she listened as the phone ringed once before he sent her to voicemail. She hit the end button; he was clearly ignoring her. More tears slipped out; he was definitely upset with her, and rightfully so.

Deciding that staying at his place was probably not a good idea, she went back to his room and gathered her outfit, discarding it in one of her drawers. She retrieved a pair of sneakers out of his closet and slipped them on, then grabbed her bag and her coat before leaving. She walked sluggishly, making her way to one of the main roads in attempt to flag a cab. She walked a few blocks, but successfully flagged down a driver to take her home. It was after midnight when she made it back to her apartment, and after paying the cab, she slowly made her way up the stairwell and into her apartment. Slipping the key into the door, she quickly noticed it was unlocked. Her heart quickened; did Luke come here?

Turning the knob, she was greeted with the sight of lights on, Luke sitting at her kitchen table with a box in front of him. She froze, her eyes looking back and forth between Luke, who was seated with his hands folded under his chin, his eyes downcast, and the box, the lid being the only thing keeping the past and the present apart.

"Luke," Casey said sadly, dropping her keys and her clutch on the side table before walking up to him. He slid the chair back, it nosily scraping against the kitchen floor, before standing up. His face had an expression she had never seen him express before, conflicted between sadness, anger, and confusion. Her heart squeezed in agony when he began to speak, the words laced with hurt and deception.

"How long?" he asked. "How long have you been seeing him?"

"Since Monday," she said quietly. He nodded in acknowledgement, as if he was processing.

"When?"

"He was here at my doorstep when I got home from work," she answered honestly.

"And?"

"He said he was in the city for a conference and wanted to look me up and see how I was doing," she answered.

"And?"

She sighed a troubled breath, but needed to be honest with him. "He told me he still loved me."

He nodded again, but refused to look at her. "And?" he urged her to continue.

"I told him I was getting married." She watched as he let out a deep breath, his shoulders relaxed slightly, but he still refused to look at her.

"You're not telling me something," he stated matter-of-factly. "If you had told him that Monday and it's now, what, Thursday night, something's not right."

She took a hard swallow; the words sour as she made her admission. "He kissed me," she admitted, watching his reaction. Her heart broke when she watched him process the admission, from his mouth going to a firm line to his eyes squeezing shut, his hands clasping harder as his knuckles and fingertips began to turn white. She tore her gaze away from him; watching him take in the information it hurt more than saying the words.

After what felt like an eternity, he broke the silence. "So, the rest of the week?" His voice was unsure, broken. Her eyes squeezed shut; never had she heard him sound so sad. She caused him this pain, and he was the last person to deserve this.

"He tried seeking me a couple of times, but I blew him off. The night of the dinner I ran into him with Bre and Ryan, then again at the hotel bar. Seeing him brought up all these past feelings that I never really got over," she began. Crossing her arms, she leaned against the wall. Now was the time to be honest with him. It was two years too late, but she needed to tell him about her relationship and why she took its ending so badly.

"Derek is not just my ex-boyfriend. He's also my step-brother. When we were both fifteen my mom and his dad got married. We both went to the same high school, we lived not even ten feet from each other, and when he got signed the Rangers he moved away to New York. When I graduated, I was supposed to move up to be with him. But when I got accepted into Columbia, he started acting weird, and then out of the blue broke up with me. I was completely blindsided. He told me he had met someone else and that he didn't want to be tied down by his roots. That same day, though, Harvard called me letting me know I got accepted and two weeks later I moved here to Boston."

She looked over at Luke, and for the first time she noticed he was watching her as she finally told him the story behind her breakup. She continued.

"I thrusted myself into this new life, trying to ignore the mourning of losing him. I mean, he was my friend first, then he was my boyfriend. We tried so hard to see other as family but it didn't happen that way. I really thought we were going to be together forever; you know? But when he broke my heart, he broke something deep inside me. So, when I saw him, it stirred up all of these feelings. I was angry, I was sad, I was confused. And then he told me that he never cheated on me, that he was not working out as expected by his coach, he broke up with me to salvage his chance with the Rangers. That there was never anyone else."

Luke looked down at his hands, as if he was anticipating what was going to happen next. She looked at him and studied him carefully before choosing her next words, her heart beating wildly as she did so. He looked rejected, his shoulders slumped, his hair disheveled from the multiple times she could imagine him running his fingers through it. She looked back down to her hand, her engagement ring sparkling back at her, as her heart urged her on to do what she needed to do.

She opened her mouth to speak, but Luke began to approach her. She took in a shaky breath, his eyes boring in to hers, as if they were seeking the answers inside her soul. He looked at her mournfully. In that moment, she knew. She knew exactly what she needed to do.

She never wanted to see that look again.

"So, these past two years," he asked her, "me asking you to marry me, you moving in with me, was it all just a way to get over your ex?"

"No!" she cried out, her heart and her hands trembling that he thought so low of himself. "Luke, I never, ever was dishonest in my feelings about you."

"Then if you know you love me, why are you confused?" he asked, clearly perplexed himself.

"I never got closure," she said. "But this; this is worse than seeking out closure, because I've hurt you in the process."

"I just, I don't know what's going on," he said to her. "I feel like I'm losing you and I don't understand why."

Her eyes snapped wide. Hearing him suggest it, that she was leaving him, completely startled her. Sure, she thought about what she would do if she left to be with Derek, but she never once said it like she was leaving Luke. Hearing him say it out loud put it into perspective what the choice truly meant. Was she willing to walk away from Luke? More so, did she _want_ to walk away from him?

"No," she said, answering both herself and him, shaking her head in denial. "No, no, no," she reaffirmed, reaching out to his arm, grabbing on to his shirt.

"No?" he asked, his voice a higher pitch, as if hope injected in his question. She continued to shake her head, burying it into his chest.

"I'm sorry, I am so sorry," she cried into his chest. "The thought of losing you, I can't," she said between sobs, her head and her heart finally on the same page as she bellowed out apology after apology. When he finally wrapped his arms around her, she buried deeper into him, her tears soaking his shirt, patches of her makeup she hadn't wiped off staining his white shirt. "I love you," she cried. "I love you so much." She felt his body stiffen before he pushed her off of him slightly, looking at her with widened eyes.

"Luke?" she asked timidly, confused as to why he moved away from him.

"You've," he said with surprise in his voice, "you've never told me you loved me like that before."

"What?" she asked, puzzled by the statement.

"I mean, you've always said 'I love you, too' or when we've hung up on the phone you've said it, but not like that," he said. "Say it again," he urged, his voice full of pleading, as if it would heal what she put him through the last few hours.

"I love you," she stated, reaching her arms up to run her fingers through his hair. "I love you so much," she repeated, pressing her forehead to him.

"Promise?' he asked, looking into her eyes. He didn't have to search long for the answer. She kissed him, pouring every ounce of love and passion she had for him. Luke responded, wrapping his arms around her tightly, effectively deepening their kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck, as if she was holding on for dear life.

As they stumbled out of the kitchen and collapsed on the couch filled with folded sheets and blankets, she couldn't help but stop and think about the events that led up to this moment. The thought of losing Luke, just the thought alone was enough to snap her out of her confusion. In all the questions, in all the hesitation, she never truly thought about what her life would be like without him. Hearing him question it hurt worse than the day she sat on that bed seven years ago when she thought she had lost the love of her life. And while Derek would always hold a special place in her heart, while he would always be her first love, she knew that Luke was the one she wanted to truly be with.

The declaration was quite liberating. Sure, the memories hurt, and would continue to hurt. The wound of your first love breaking your heart never completely heals. Yes, she would regret that she had kissed Derek, two, three times this past week. No, she probably would never tell Luke that she had doubts weaving in her mind. She would battle those demons on her own should they ever resurface. If anything, those kisses, as sweet and memorable as they may have been, allowed her to finally admit that she had finally moved on from him. And yes, her heart would never be quite the same, but she did learn to love again. It was a different kind of love, one where she felt safe, appreciated, respected, and one she was not willing to sacrifice. Luke was too important to her.

Desire rippled through her, emotions exploding throughout her that she hadn't felt in years. It was as if her body was on fire, her heart and her head in sync.

She would never let him go.

#

 _Friday_

Casey stood in the Westin lobby, her arms crossed as she scanned the guests and their luggage. Today was the last day of the conference, and most of the doctor's appeared to be departing the hotel. Unfortunately, in that crowd, it meant that locating Derek might prove to be difficult.

She glanced at her watch; she had been here about 20 minutes and still no sight of him. Sighing, she was about to turn around, but she saw a flash of black hair atop a generously tall man. She knew instantly that Derek was over there.

Merging through the crowd, she saw Derek with a slate colored roller bag trailing behind him as he made his way to the checkout. Extending her legs as long as she could, she quickly caught up with him, tapping him against the side of his arm. He stopped and turned his head, stopping completely when he looked at her, surprise etched on his face.

"Casey?" he asked in disbelief.

"Can we talk for a minute, or do you need to check out?" she asked.

"No, I can talk. Um," he looked around for an area to sit, but she quickly shook her head.

"We don't need to sit, I'll be quick" she said. "I wanted to wish you safe travels back home."

Derek looked at her, disappointment briefly flashing across his features before he nodded. "Thank you," he eventually said, accepting her rejection. "I'm sorry it took me so long to come up here. I'll always regret it," he added.

She touched his arm lightly. "I'm sorry that I was indecisive on my feelings. It wasn't fair of me to lead you on like that. Seeing you brought back a lot of mixed feelings."

He nodded in agreement. "I'm sorry if I caused any trouble with you and your fiancé."

"It's alright," she said. "I'm sorry I slapped you."

He laughed. "Even?" he asked. She smiled.

"Even."

A few more moments passed by, but they were filled with silence. Deciding that there were no more words to exchange, she inched in closer to him and wrapped her arms around him; the final contact she knew she would ever have with him. He responded, holding onto her tightly, but was quick to let go.

"Take care of yourself, Der," she said softly.

"You too, Case," he replied before grabbing the handle of his suitcase and walking away.

She felt sad for a moment, but she also felt at peace. Was this closure? She watched as his figure merged with the other guests before she couldn't see him anymore. Nodding, she turned around and walked out of the hotel, leaving with it her doubts and her indiscretion. They both deserved to move on and be happy, and she was happy.

So, although the past came beckoning, that the trials of yesterday's kisses teased her to stray away from her path, she rose above and would not fall victim, nor did she want to. And while sometimes the past seems easier, she knew she was only focusing on those memories of happier times. But when it came time to face the present, to see that the person that she had chosen to spend her life with was hurting at the indecisiveness that she was fighting against, did she realize that she had moved on from him. Her life, her heart, her happiness was here.

The evening was falling upon the city, the light barely hanging on as she looked out at the city in front of her. She looked over to see Luke leaning against his car, smiling at her when she came out the door. When she had asked him if she could say her goodbyes to him for the last time, he was a little hesitant, but she assured him that this would put the past week to rest. In a moment of declaration as well, she ceremonially tossed the box of momentous in the garbage, to which he broke out into a very Luke-like goofy grin and agreed to her request. Strolling over to him, she leaned into his wool coat, rubbing her cheek against the delicate fibers of his scarf, the one she got him for Christmas last year after he constantly dropped hints about not having one.

"Is he gone?" he asked, to which she laughed in response.

"Yes, he is," she affirmed.

"Good," he stated, wrapping his arms around her. She laughed again; she certainly couldn't blame him for that comment.

"Home?" she asked, to which he nodded yes. After how late they were up last night, they both decided to call into work to finish packing up Casey's apartment. Everything was set for the movers to arrive in the morning to bring everything to the townhouse, but as of 4:00 this afternoon, she officially declared herself moved in when she brought over five boxes of her shoes and lined them up on what was now her side of their closet.

As they pulled out into the city streets, she couldn't help but smile as they drove past various spots in the city. They drove past their office, the street to her old apartment, the spot where they had their first date years ago, the club where they reignited their feelings, and various other favorites of hers.

Everything she loved was here in front of her, and her tomorrow would certainly be as well.


	10. Chapter 10

_One Month Later_

Casey sat at her desk, papers sprawled out in front of her, pen in mouth, as she chewed on the end of it deep in thought. She looked across the desk, interested to gain his perspective to the information laid out in front of them. They had been working on this for days, trying to make sure everything was accurate before the holidays came around. Luke pursed his lips as he reviewed the document, then nodded.

"Ok, so if we leave the morning on the 23rd for your parents, we can come back here on the 27th and spend New Year's with mine, but it allows us to come into the office on the 28th through the 30th to make sure year end is all set with our clients. Is this the final agreement?"

"Correct," she nodded. This was going to be the first year Casey brought Luke home for Christmas. The last few years she had gone home alone, spending a cozy couple of days in her old bedroom, eating her Mom's amazing cooking, and pretending to be a teenager again by sleeping in countless hours; but now that they were engaged and her parents still hadn't seen her ring, she figured now was a good time to introduce Luke to the amazing McDonald-Venturi holiday traditions. But with spending Christmases apart the last few years, she knew that his family had their own unique traditions that they partake on Christmas as well, so the two of them sat down and tried to come up with a balance to how they would spend this year's holiday.

"And we will alternate every other year, correct?" Luke amended, raising his eyebrow in mock challenge. She pursed her lips, but quickly smiled.

"Yes, absolutely," she agreed before sticking her hand out to shake on it. He let out a laugh before grasping it, only to turn her hand over and bring it to his lips.

"You drive a hard bargain Ms. McDonald, but I accept your proposition," he replied before placing a gentle kiss on the back of her hand. "Now get back to work if you want us to be able to enjoy our time off!" he ordered, letting go of her hand.

"Blah, I don't want to. This was so much more fun," she whimpered while looking over the mound of work she had shoved to the other side of her desk. Just as he was about to walk out of her office, she called out to him. "Add the 22nd in our PTO dates, please. I want to use it to make sure we have all our gifts purchased, bags packed, and ducks in a row before we leave."

"You got it, babe. Let me bring these over to Brian to get his final okay and I'll grab you for lunch later on?" he asked. She nodded, then smiled as he walked away. This Christmas was shaping up to be one of the best ones yet.

#

Casey sat at the kitchen bar, a warm cup of tea in her hands, closing her eyes as she let the warmth seep into her system. Bringing the cup to her mouth, she took a greedy sip, the aromatic flavors of ginger filling her nostrils and her taste buds with content. She let out a happy sigh as she put the glass down and reached for her toast, nibbling on its edge while she scrolled through her iPad's news app. Today was the official kick-off to her vacation, and although she had hoped to sleep in, she didn't mind being up at 7:00 to enjoy some quiet reading while the sun began to rise. One of her favorite features of their home was the windows in the living room faced east and surprisingly there were no high rises blocking his view, so the sun filled up the space with its illuminating light as it made its way into the sky. Most weekend mornings she would wrap herself in a throw, have a warm mug of coffee or tea, and would snuggle deep into the couch with her iPad. Her finger continued to swipe through the article, but was briefly started when she heard footsteps on the stairwell. Luke wasn't usually up early on a day off. Surprised, she fluttered her eyes over to him and smiled; he was wearing his favorite baggy sweats, a beaten up Blue Jays shirt, and his hair was disheveled, sticking up in various spikes. She watched as he ran his fingers through his hair, recalling when he decided to finally cut his locks for a shorter, more manageable cut. She was opposed at first, having been a fan of his unique length, but she couldn't deny that he looked amazing with the shorter cut. A smile curled on her lips as she recalled how she nearly jumped him when he came home that evening after the barber.

"Something on my face?" he asked as he yawned, clearly noticing her amused smile. She shook her head.

"Nope. Good morning," she said as he approached her, planting a noisy kiss on the top of her head.

"Morning," he said, reaching for the coffee pot. "Why are you up already?" he asked. "Vacation means you don't have to get up."

She shrugged. "Internal alarm clock I guess," she replied. He shrugged before grabbing the bag of coffee, dumping heaps into the pot before dumping some water into it. Soon the aromatic flavors of coffee filled the kitchen, Casey taking another greedy inhale as her favorite flavor of hazelnut entangled the scent of the roasted beans. She let out a peaceful hum.

"So, what's on the agenda for today?" Luke asked as he reached for two mugs.

"I want to look through the checklists again for the gifts this morning, and if we're missing anything maybe hit up the mall this afternoon?" He groaned.

"That place is going to be a zoo," he said as he filled up the mugs.

"Well, hopefully we've already got everything. I figure we can look it over in an hour or so?" she inquired. "I'd like to be out the door by 11:30," she added.

"Sounds like a plan, babe," he said into his mug as he brought it to his mouth, taking in the black coffee. "I'm going watch TV. Let me know when you're ready for me," he advised as he shuffled out of the kitchen and over onto the couch. She turned back and looked at him with a smile. Yes, this was going to be a great holiday, indeed.

#

Casey smiled as she added the finishing touch to her makeup. It wasn't anything too extravagant, but it certainly felt nice being able to take the time to apply her favorites as opposed to first thing in the morning. She had slipped on a long-sleeved dress, just a shade above a snowy white, complete with a fitted top and a flowy circle skirt that ended just above her knees. Reaching for her favorite red heels, she slipped them on before walking out of the room. Luke was in a polo shirt and black pants, but raised his eyebrow when Casey walked out of the room.

"You look pretty dressed up for Christmas shopping," he said. She smiled.

"I'm in the Christmas spirit! See the red shoes?" she said as she kicked up her heel. "Anyway, I thought we could grab some lunch first. I want to try this place out over Bay and Dundas that Emily couldn't stop raving about. Something with Pho in the title. Anyway, her and Jason are going to meet us there. I hope that's okay?"

"Awesome, I'm starving," he said as they made their way down the stairs. "I was going to beg you to let us stop at the taco stand in the mall, but Pho sounds so much better."

She paused. "I'd get something in your system now then because I hear it can get kind of crowded. Don't need a cranky Luke in the waiting area in case we're there long!" He frowned before grabbing an apple.

"Then let's get going!" he said before he bit into it, slipping on his coat and scarf. She reached for her own grey pea coat, slipping it on before adding her black gloves and floppy knit hat. Walking outside to the courtyard of their complex, she synched her coat in a little more, the sting of the winter air biting at her legs, but it didn't last long before the cab pulled up. Casey gave the driver the directions, passing him a piece of paper with the address on it. Nodding, he merged into the traffic, the snow gently falling on the windows as they made their decent into the heart of downtown.

The cab pulled off to the side, Emily and Jason waiting outside of the large building. "Casey, where is this place?" Luke asked as he stepped out of the cab, standing in front of city hall. He looked around, fully knowing that most restaurants were tucked away, but all he saw was the park full of ice skaters, hotels, and city hall.

"Come on, come on!" she said as she linked his arm, guiding him away as they made their way to Emily and Jason. Emily was waving erratically, holding onto a large bag, Jason standing with his hands in his pocket but a smile on his face.

"Come on guys, it's almost time for our reservation!" she said, practically skipping as she made her way up the steps of city hall. Luke, still completely confused, grabbed the door and held it open for the group.

"Did they put a pho restaurant in city hall?" he asked aloud, food still on his mind. The three of them laughed as they made their way into the grand building, walking through the bright lobby onward to their destination. They stopped outside a wood paneled door, Luke's eyes wandering for any indication to where they were. Casey watched as he tried to piece together the puzzle, a huge smile on her face when he finally concluded what was going on. He looked at her, his eyebrows raised wide, his mouth slightly ajar.

"Casey?" he leaded, "what…"

"Luke, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You are my best friend, my partner, the love of my life," she paused, her eyes brimming with tears of excitement and anticipation. "I don't want to wait to get married on some beach," she declared, grabbing his hands. "All I want for Christmas, all I want more than anything in this world, is for us to go in these doors, right now, and for you to marry me."

Luke was stunned speechless, looking back at Emily and Jason, who were waving and giving thumbs up of encouragement, and back to Casey, who had the largest grin she could ever imagine on her face. "Really?" he finally asked, his voice a breathless, higher pitch, clearly filled with surprise and happiness. She nodded. "Let's do this!" he cheered, scooping her up in a large bear hug, lifting her off the ground with a twirl. She laughed as he spun her around before planting a large kiss on her lips.

"Come on, guys!" Casey said as the door opened, greeted by the judge and a few chairs in the small space. Emily opened her bag, grabbing the bouquet of poinsettias and baby's breath that she had made, passing it over to Casey while Jason grabbed and shook out the black blazer that was folded underneath the flowers. He slipped it onto Luke before slapping him on the back, words of congratulations being exchanged.

As the judge began her decree, Casey and Luke faced one another, Emily and Jason on each of their sides. Casey felt love-struck as she stared into Luke's eyes, her heart pounding as she listened to the words of binding and dutiful responsibility to one another. The judge interrupted her gaze, asking her to sign a paper, to which she did, followed by Luke, Emily and Jason. They kissed, their friends clapping off to the side, now man and wife. It was much shorter than she ever could have imagined, but all she knew was that part one had gone off successfully. They walked back out the door, Luke wrapping his arm around her waist again, kissing her passionately, before whispering in her ear.

"Best Christmas gift ever," he said before placing another kiss on her temple. She grinned.

"It's not over yet," she said. "Guys, what time is it?"

"12:27," Mina replied. Casey nodded.

"Come on, we have to go, now," Casey ordered, grabbing Luke's hand to lead him back down the stairwell.

"What?" he asked, looking back at Emily and Jason, who were waving their goodbyes as Casey practically dragged him down the hallway.

"We're going to be late," she vaguely said as they walked down the stairwell and through the lobby.

"Late for what?" he asked again, confused once more. They walked through the large doors and out onto the sidewalk, Casey's head frantically looking around to see if an idle cab was in sight. She pouted when one wasn't, but not before Luke lightly grabbed her arm and turned her to face him.

"Casey, what's going on?" he asked again.

She took in a deep breath. She was hoping to surprise him again, but she couldn't be too greedy in her master plan of the day. After all, phase one went off perfectly, there was bound to be a small hiccup in phase two.

"We have to go to my appointment," she led. He raised an eyebrow. "To the doctor." He continued to look at her skeptically. Reaching into her purse, she pulled out a rectangular box, a large bow on top of it, and placed it into his gloved hand. Curious and confusion in his features, she watched him as he opened it, his jaw drop, and then look back at her.

"So, come on," she urged, "we need to go or we're going to be late!" Her heart warmed as she saw a smile stretch across his face, but she felt like she was about to burst when she saw tears pricking the corners of his eyes. Her enveloped her, practically crushing her against his body, as the snowflakes continued to fall around them. She reached her arms around his torso, her heart pounding with joy. This reaction was better, she decided, than surprising him at the appointment. She had discovered three weeks ago that she was pregnant, and rather than tell him outright, she wanted to plan something special for him. They had briefly began talking about their destination wedding, but with year-end and Christmas approaching, it wasn't a topic of priority. But when she found out that she was pregnant, she wanted nothing more than to tell him in the most unexpected, spontaneous way ever.

This was a day she would never, ever forget.

#

"Luke!" Casey protested as crossed her arms, Luke swatting her away from the trunk of his Audi. "I can carry _something._ "

"Nope!" he insisted. "Go inside and get warm. Junior doesn't need to catch a cold." Casey rolled her eyes.

"You do realize we live in a colder region than London, right?" she retorted.

"Well, I officially decided you're not allowed to go outside unless you're bundled in a parka, but we can discuss that later," he said with a goofy grin, her hitting his arm in response.

"Be prepared for some insanity around here," Casey warned as she walked up the steps in front of Luke, pausing when they reached the large, red door. "I think my Mom is going to cry a river when she learns everything." Luke nodded in awareness before placing a kiss on her forehead. Casey flung open the door, her Mom and George homing in on them as they placed their gifts down, exchanging hugs and pleasantries. Lizzie, Edwin and Marti followed right behind them. It was no sooner followed by a shriek when Nora grabbed Casey's hand, presumably to see her engagement ring, only to notice that a diamond studded wedding band was nestled underneath it. She grabbed Luke's left hand, seeing a platinum band on his ring finger, before pulling her in for an intense hug, then pulling her back out to look at her.

"You're married?!" she cried out. "But! But! But!"

Casey laughed. "Mom, let me get my coat off, first!"

"But!" her Mom said, her mind stuck in stuttersville. Casey gave Luke a sly grin as she slipped her coat off, taking Luke's as well and placing it into the closet. While George and Luke had merged into the hallway, watching the scene, her Mom still standing in the foyer, stammering and sputtering.

"I'm your Mom, I'm supposed to be there!" she finally bellowed out. A brief pang of guilt washed over Casey, but she shook it off, instead walking over to the Christmas presents they had tucked away in the box. Reaching for a smaller, rectangular one, Casey plucked it out and passed it to her Mom.

"Open it," she instructed. Her Mom wiped away a tear, looking at the present. "Open it, Mom," Casey urged. Her heart quickened as she watched her Mom's slender fingers pry open the red and green paper, greeted by a picture frame. The wording around the frame in primary colors reading "I love my Grandma," a sonogram behind the glass. Nora looked up at Casey, then back to the frame, then back to Casey.

"Oh my God!" she shrieked as she pulled her daughter in for another hug. Casey peeked over her Mom's shoulder to see George hug Luke and give him a pat on the back, Luke responding in the same fashion. She burrowed deep into her Mom's chest as she listened to her cry out statements of excitement, her own tears of happiness hugging her eyelids.

Yes, this was the best Christmas ever.

#

"Hey, I think I left my other glove in the car. Can I have your keys?" Casey asked, slipping on her coat.

"They're in my coat pocket," Luke called from the kitchen, where George had ceremoniously opened up a bottle of wine. Casey nodded to the instruction and successfully retrieved them, slipping them out of his pocket and into her bare hand. Stepping out into the cold air, she made her way to the Audi when a pair of headlights slowing down startled her. Straightening up, she noticed that the plates on the SUV were New York plates. She took in a sharp breath, but quickly let it out, opting instead to unlock the door. Not wanting to stare, she opened the door to the car and briefly searched the passenger's side before retrieving her glove. Pulling herself out of the car, she looked back over towards the SUV, only to notice a tall, darker woman alongside Derek as they walked up to the front door of their parent's house. Casey watched them as they made their way up the walkway; she saw that the door had opened, the woman walking in first. She was about to turn away, but she saw Derek look back.

They caught each other's gaze, and although it was only mere seconds, it meant so much. He smiled at her, she waved back, before he walked into the house, the door closing behind him.

Casey smiled as she briefly looked up at the night sky, the flakes of snow falling around her in soft, quiet fractals. No longer did any sign of turmoil resonate in her, no longer did she feel any anxiety bringing Luke home in fear of running into Derek. And although she saw him with another woman, it didn't hurt. In fact, it meant that he, too, had moved on.

Casey slipped her hand over her stomach, the very definition of love growing in her womb, looking through the window of her parent's home. Luke was laughing at something George said, a glass of wine in his hand, before he looked out the window and caught her stare. Grinning, she made her way back up the walkway and into the house.

"Find it?" Luke asked as she slipped her coat off.

"Yup!" Casey said as she hung the coat back up in the closet. She walked over to Luke before resting her head on his shoulder.

"I've got everything I could have ever wanted right here."

There you have it folks! The end of my tale. Sorry it wasn't a true DASEY but I felt this ending was more realistic. I do not own the original characters from Life with Derek. The other characters mentioned are my own. In case there is some confusion the Boston Emily is a pretty blonde girl Casey befriended during her college years/ post college years at DPI. She is not the London, Canada Emily who was Casey's best friend. Thanks!


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